Tinder Pick Ups and Conversations That Will Make You Lose Faith in Humanity
Ahh Tinder.. The only place where getting propositioned, insulted, and hit on by strangers is a totally normal thing. Most people who use the app are obviously joking around just to get a reaction (we hope) but there are always those select few who are just strange enough to make us wonder if they’re actually being serious. Read on to see some of the most cringe-worthy and laughable Tinder interactions that have recently happened!
Costume Partners Anonymous
Source: instagram.com/tindernightmares
Hey Rob, thanks but no thanks. Ghost costumes are certainly much more complex these days, so we think that you’ll have to be a little more creative than using a sheet for your costume. Although Krystin’s gotta give him credit for the clever use of innuendo here.
Your Sister Should Be Concerned…
Source: instagram.com/tindernightmares
Daniel… just… ew. Hopefully, this person didn’t respond to him because this is a major red flag. Introductions like these are just downright creepy and if Daniel often uses this as a pick-up line, we can be sure that it has a 0% success rate.
Overbearing Mothers
Source: instagram.com/tindernightmares
Poor Adrian. He can’t even freely pick up girls online without his mother getting in the way. This conversation certainly went out with a bang, but not in the way he had hoped. Perhaps his mother has since taught him how to proposition women with a little more politeness.
Why? Are You Offering?
Source: instagram.com/tindernightmares
When this person decided to try to be upfront with their pick-up, they probably weren’t expecting what Evan had to say next. What started as an endearing and lighthearted attempt at a joke, turned into an awkwardly serious offer.
When the Fate of America’s Future is Up in the Air
Source: instagram.com/tindernightmares
This pick-up line has been used time and time again by playful patriots. When used in the context of our current political climate, Erin makes a valid point. There are certainly ominous undertones in the conversations surrounding America’s future after our new president is elected, especially now that we know it’s Trump. If that may be the case, let’s hope (for this person’s case) that they mean America pre-Trump.
Out of This World
Source: instagram.com/tindernightmares
Yes, Adam, that is weird. And disturbing. Let’s hope that Adam’s prospect didn’t respond because they would probably be getting themselves into a sketchy situation, considering what ideas he has in his head.
Must Love Dogs
Source: instagram.com/tindernightmares
It’s people like Joshua that just make you want to say “smh.” This person gave him the chance for a decent conversation, one in which he could have worked his way into a proper pick-up line. But nope. Joshua just decided to go with what his brain told him to do (and we don’t mean the brain in his head).
If She Hasn’t Responded for Four Months, She’s Just Not that Into You Bro
Source: instagram.com/tindernightmares
Some people clearly can’t take a hint. In May, this person tried a normal (albeit, dry) conversation starter, but by August they must have gotten frustrated. Their straight-up approach was probably a last ditch effort at getting some attention. You’ve got to give them credit for their perseverance, though.
Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places
Source: instagram.com/tindernightmares
Clark was certainly clear about his intentions, but this person was not so sure that he was using the right resources. For those of you that are unfamiliar, Grindr is the all-male equivalent to Tinder. Let’s hope this story had a happy ending and Clark took their advice.
*Cringe*
Source: instagram.com/tindernightmares
It isn’t always guys that are after that one thing that Lauryn Hill warned us all about. Olivia was probably a little too forward with this person, whose response – Adam Scott as Ben Wyatt on Parks & Recreation seeing something “ewww” worthy – was on point. We’re sure this person took Ms. Hill’s advice and decided to “watch out.”
“We Have Two Options”
Source: instagram.com/tinderconvos
Wow. Zach has this all planned out. Was this a way for him to romanticize the future of a relationship that started out of Tinder? Or was it just a convoluted way for him to propose a hookup? Either way, Zach certainly is one of the more creative Tinder pick up artists out there and we’d be intrigued to know which option Tiffany chooses.
If You’re Not Busy…
Source: instagram.com/tinderconvos
Peter doesn’t appear to have much going on in his life if he’s willing to jeopardize the next 18 years of a stranger’s life with a child born out of wedlock. He might actually have good intentions of wanting to be a father, but he certainly chose an abrasive way to go about it.
A Match Made on Tinder
Source: instagram.com/tinderconvos
When this person matched with Vanessa, he probably didn’t expect to make such a connection. Kudos to them for starting off with a strong compliment that doesn’t come off as creepy. Vanessa definitely upped the ante with her response, but the fact that this person was able to respond in the same manner might have earned them some points. Who knew political science could be so sexy?
My Place of Business is None of Your Business
Source: instagram.com/tinderconvos
Kristine was probably flattered that this person decided to ask about her job. But despite this person’s cleverness, we’re sure it didn’t elicit any further responses from her. She should probably tell this person to stop by her store so they can buy some soap and wash away their dirty thoughts.
Sloppy Seconds
Source: instagram.com/tinderconvos
H totally tried to shut this person down with their quick retort. This person didn’t even seem to be thrown off guard when they were accused of having already tried to get with some of H’s friends. The last message makes us want to say, “Are you a female sheep? Cuz ew(e).”
And There Goes Your Childhood
Source: instagram.com/tinderconvos
What a coincidence that Jessie and Andy would match with each other on Tinder. Jessie’s attempt to flatter Andy with the Toy Story reference was completely innocent. But things got gross when Andy used the reference to his advantage when he threw in this clever double entendre.
A Sense of Entitlement
Source: instagram.com/tinderconvos
Taylor certainly must have hit his head alright, because what kind of pick up line is that? He must have been so proud of himself for thinking of such a way to ask for this person’s number, but instead, he just comes off as an entitled and sad. Taylor, flattery is much more successful if you’re trying to get someone to give you their number.
Awkwardly Sweet?
Source: instagram.com/tinderconvos
Oh, Max. We know you had good intentions with this one. But the imagery here is exactly what you described: uncomfortable. Hopefully, the recipient of this message let Max off easy, because we can tell that he was trying to be sweet, but the end result was just kinda gross.
Daaaaamn Daniel!
Source: instagram.com/tinderconvos
Daniel’s introduction here could have been smooth, but kind of comes off a bit snarky. It is refreshing though to see that he is actually looking for a connection here in wanting to be able to have an interesting conversation. Our guess is that he didn’t quite get what he bargained for because this person’s response is a little juvenile. For those who don’t know, the “Damn Daniel” meme was started by a couple of Southern California high schoolers back in February.
When They Can’t Accept Rejection
Source: instagram.com/tinderconvos
Poor Mike. He should have stopped trying after this person wouldn’t give him their number the first time. Visibly hurt, Mike asks them to push him down the flight of stairs, the pain of which is equivalent to the cold-shoulder he is receiving. Not knowing when to quit, Mike decides to spin his current situation and say that he is winning this “fight” he’s having with his neglectful match.
When They Try to Trap You
Source: instagram.com/do.you.tinder
We can’t believe it either. Although Ryan here was probably trying to use humor to incite a conversation, he had to choose the dopiest way to go about it. This pick up is not even funny, it’s just awkward. This one calls for an epic facepalm.
Big Sean Would Be Proud
Source: instagram.com/do.you.tinder
This one certainly has more Rated R language and Chris here apparently has no qualms about being so explicit. Luckily, neither does the receiver of this message because clearly, they don’t have any patience for people like Chris. We’re sure this conversation called for an immediate “unmatch.”
When You’re Politically Inept
Source: Reddit
In recent months, Tinder has certainly become more inappropriate, as people have been using this same pick-up line over and over. Referencing the numerous school shootings, guys will often use this line as a way to say they’d have unprotected sex with a girl. G here made matters even worse since he couldn’t even get the school’s name right.
If You Have to Explain, It’s Probably Not Funny
Source: Reddit
This person took a more general approach to the disgusting pick-up line, but the “joke” was clearly lost on C. The failed pick-up artist had to go so far as to explain the entire reference, which makes the situation even more uncomfortable. We think everyone would agree, however, that this pick-up line is offensive, insensitive, and is just not going to work.
To Understand is to Be Understood
Source: Reddit
Jake’s prospect had the perfect response to his brusque and risqué introduction, but it seems the there might actually be deeper, more important issues at hand here. Unfortunately for Jake, just because he’s had a rough upbringing doesn’t mean he should approach these situations with such a vulgar offer.
When You Don’t Eat All Your Vegetables
Source: Reddit
J totally should have given this person a chance. Guess the cute vegetable compliment was not enough for her. That apparently didn’t faze this person though, because they persisted with more innocent messages until two months later, they’ve had it. No opportunities were wasted here as this person expressed their dismay with another clever vegetable pun.
Selling Yourself Short
Source: Reddit
Sarah wasted no time using this person’s attraction to her costume to her advantage when she offered a sexual favor in exchange for cash. The person’s response is quite humbling, however, since they offer her other things that would surely get them a situation that is more than just “bedroom time.” Can’t blame a person for trying.
There Are No Words
Source: Reddit
Emojis are wonderful for communicating without words. Unfortunately, many people use this luxury to their dirty advantage. S was pretty straightforward with their emoji usage, but luckily the receiver of this message was too. We wonder if S had anything else to say after that?
Do You Know the Muffin Man?
Source: Reddit
It’s not every day that you can match on Tinder with a muffin. Seems like for some, it’s a possibility and they’re totally into it. You’ve gotta give these two credit for their playful and witty banter. Who knew muffin puns could get so steamy?
Crazy Danny
Source: Reddit
Danny seemed super excited to have matched with this person on Tinder, even taking the time to introduce themselves in a normal fashion. As excited that both parties were about his name, this person wasted no time and cut right to the chase. We’re sure Danny’s excitement deflated when he read this person’s demands.
Not a Good Pick Up Artist
Source: Reddit
As insanely inappropriate or corny most pick up lines are, some people actually do like to read them. Isn’t that one of the main sources of entertainment Tinder offers anyway? Apparently, Joseph doesn’t know this because “Hey” just didn’t cut it for this person. Maybe he should try a little harder.
Ouch!
Source: Reddit
Whoever matched with A has no mercy. They started off with the classic “fallen from heaven” line but twisted it in a hilariously mean-spirited way. This makes us wonder if this person just swiped right on A just to insult them. A must be pretty dense though because she clearly was unfazed.
When You Need “Stimulation”
Source: Reddit
Chris seems like a nice guy, starting the conversation in a noninvasive manner. Apparently, he seemed too boring for Alex, who complained about the lack of “intellectual stimulation” in his introduction. Chris has proven himself to be nobody’s fool, for his response to Alex’s arrogant reply was cunning and on point.
Um, Thanks?
Source: Reddit
Whoever wrote this message to Kember clearly didn’t win her over. No hellos, compliments, or even sexual lines, but a simple blunt observation is enough to get you the explicit title. As hilarious as this conversation was, we’re sure they’ve ceased communications from there.
Whatever Floats Your Boat
Source: Reddit
Usually, when people on Tinder think they’ve come up with a clever pick-up line, they post it saying, “And now, we wait.” Well, this person is probably still waiting because that’s probably not the first time she’s heard that one, buddy. File this one under “thanks, but no thanks.”
Upsexy
Source: Reddit
Talk about a corny pick-up line! Whoever sent this message to T was trying to be funny, but it didn’t work since they took the time to explain it. Even worse, they apparently don’t understand sarcasm either. These two should just unmatch and pretend this never happened.
You Must Know the Difference
Source: Reddit
This person was probably too young for Christina, who apparently is 26. But they don’t seem to be offended that Christina is belittling them for their age, since they called her out for her misuse of grammar. You’ve got to give this person credit though, because even we’ll admit that misusing your/you’re is a little unattractive.
When Tinder is Your Religion
Source: Reddit
We wonder what the context of these messages were and if this person and M were having a good conversation. That seems to be the case since this person impressed even us with is Tinder-iffic twist on “The Lord’s Prayer.” You’ve got to agree, though, that some people use Tinder a little too religiously.
Thanks for the Invite
Source: Reddit
There had to be that one person who was going to use the “party in my pants” theme. Kaitlynn had clearly declined the invite, but the message was not received. Some people either just don’t know how to quit, or they’ve gotten really good at brushing off harsh rejection with humor.
Let’s Talk About Your Grades
Source: Reddit
This conversation already started out with a sour introduction when Elizabeth called this person ugly. Luckily, they knew how to retort right back in the “punniest” of ways and of course that didn’t stop them from inserting sex into the conversation. They clearly don’t like each other so they should both stop and “C” themselves out of that conversation.
