These Wild, Over-The-Top Bloody Marys Went Way Too Far

A Bloody Mary is never a simple drink, but man did we really underestimate just how complicated they could be. Here we thought all we needed was some tomato juice, hot sauce, olives, and a classic celery stick. Nope! These Bloody Marys are absolutely out of control. Garnished with entire chickens, cheeseburgers, nachos, and even sushi, has the perfect brunch cocktail spiraled into something completely insane? We’re seriously questioning if chefs have lost their minds or if our hangovers really are that bad. Has Instagram culture taken the Bloody Mary a few steps too far?

Bacon Me Crazy

It’s simple, it’s sweet, and it’s everything you could ask for in a brunch cocktail. It’s a little bit indulgent with rashers of fatty bacon and a little bit sweet, with two sugared doughnut holes. Let’s not forget this treat is also packed with booze. Does anything get better than this?

The Chicken Fried Bloody Beast

This insane Bloody Mary is almost obscene. Hailing from Sobelman’s in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, the Chicken Fried Bloody Beast comes with whole fried chicken and two sliders. If you fancy some seafood, the wild brunch cocktail has a couple of shrimp kebabs. This is truly a surf-and-turf of the modern era. The only issue is it costs a whopping $50, but again, you’re getting an entire fried chicken and numerous species of animals were slaughtered to create this truly bloody, Bloody Mary. Just about the only thing light in this meal of a drink is the celery.

The Tailgate In A Glass

If you’re a fan of beef jerky and football tailgates, head on over to Parlor Sports in Sommerville, MA. This seriously strong bloody is crafted with Appalachian Thermonuclear Beef Jerky-infused vodka and topped with real pieces of the salty snack. They don’t even cheap out with Slim Jim. It’s the real deal.

Parlor’s Bloody Mary has all the fixins of the traditional drink, but with so much more class. From the homemade “mud” horseradish sauce to the heat-infused vodka (because everyone knows a blood best be spicy), it’ll definitely warm up the coldest winter brunches.

Take Me Out To The Ball Game

The Huffington Post hailed this concoction as the most “insane Blood Mary [they’ve] ever seen. Hailing from O’Davey’s Irish Pub in Wisconsin, this Bloody Mary monstrosity is topped with popcorn, peanuts, bacon, beans, sausage, a pretzel, sliders, a pickle, veggies, cheese curds and nachos and cheese. We repeat — nachos and cheese! It’s pretty hard to imagine the skill it takes a bartender true artist to assemble this behemoth.

Though O’Davey’s bloody is born from local baseball pride (its Milwaukee Brewers-themed), fans of baseball and brunch line up two hours before the restaurant’s opening to enjoy. The best part is this Bloody Mary mysteriously cots just $5 (and it’s literally an entire meal’s worth of food). How?

This BBQ Rib, Cheeseburger, Jalapeño Popper, Chicken Wing-Filled Behemoth

Sarah Jayne Pickart is the chef-slash-food artist responsible for the insane Brewers-themed Bloody Mary at O’Davey’s pub. Just to test her skills, Thrillist challenged the chef to make a bloody that’s even crazier. She was absolutely game, and crafted a behemoth with 35 ingredients including homemade tomato mix (with various broths and brines), steak sauce, dill cheese curds and pickled veggies – but that’s not even the crazy part.

Pickart topped her over-the-top bloody with a venison stick, beer salami, corn on the cob, a BBQ rib, a prime rib skewer, baby potatoes, a bacon-wrapped jalapeño popper, a bison-and-bacon cheeseburger, a chicken wing, a triple-decker fish sandwich and more. It might just be the most insane bloody ever created, and there’s no doubt a single human couldn’t consume this in one sitting.

Some Serious Slider Garnish

Oof. If you’re a vegetarian, you better steer clear of SMAK’s slider-stacked Bloody Mary. These Marys are served up inside the Hotel Madeline bar in Telluride, Colorado. Chef Patrick Laguens garnishes every drink with not one – but two – sliders in his brunch staple. The bloody’s lamb and beef sliders are far more than your average garnish. In fact, they’re almost as big as an actual burger. In addition, you get three olives stuffed with jalapeño, blue cheese, and pimento along with pickled green beans, pearl onions, two strips of bacon and pickled asparagus. Who needs to see the whole menu when you can have your brunch and drink it too?

Everything In The Fridge

As we already know, so many Bloodies are unbelievably out-of-control. At what point to do we stop considering them a cocktail and start considering them a full meal (multiple full meals)? This particular bloody borders on obscene, but you can’t get it in a restaurant. It’s the creation of comedian Randy Liedtke, who took it upon himself to break Bloody Mary bounds (and self-induce a major tummy ache). The belly bomb of a cocktail contained onion rings, garlic bread, jalapeño, four pieces of fried chicken, a foot long sub, two double cheeseburgers, a smaller Bloody Mary (why not?), onion rings, French fries and a full pepperoni pizza. Some of us don’t even have this much food in our fridge at one time.

One Taquito, Two Taquito

If you’ve ever got a hankering for Mexican food and a Bloody Mary, head on down to Crescent Ballroom in Phoenix, Arizona. Their signature Bloody Mary, dubbed “La Madre” or “The Mother,” comes complete with chile de arbol salsa, serrano, garlic, lemon juice, pickled green beans, asparagus and a whole taquito. This budget-friendly cocktail is a mere $7 and is served during Sunday brunch from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. With some Bloody Marys on this list topping $50, La Madre is certainly one of the most inexpensive of the bunch, but also one of the wildest. Who doesn’t love taquitos?

The Bloody For People Who Don’t Like Brunch

This Bloody Mary proves that things are definitely bigger in Texas. Pulled from the “[Expletive] Brunch” menu at Anvil Pub, this bloody includes all of our favorite farm species (cow, pig and even crawfish!). This insane bloody is topped with a bacon cheeseburger, beef jerky, a whole crawfish, a shrimp, sprouts, green beans, okra, onions, tomatoes, olives, cheese and a pickle. It’s served with a half-pint of beer as a “side garnish” for an extra boozy brunch. Basically, take one bite of this bloody and you’ll probably stay stuffed until work on your very hungover Monday morning. Can you have a meat hangover?

The Brunch Behemoth

The Attic in Long Beach, California knows exactly what you want in a boozy brunch. Their Bloody Mary is basically brunch in a cup. If the bacon-infused vodka doesn’t do it for you, the entire breakfast meal used as a garnish will.

The Attic’s bloody comes topped with a quarter of a waffle, some bacon and a fried egg. It’s also got an entire pulled pork slider rounding out the best parts of both breakfast and lunch. If you’re not a fan of sliders, the restaurant lets you sub the pulled pork slider for a BBQ rib. Oh yeah, it also has Slim Jim-stuffed olives and jalapeño Tabasco.

Pretty Please With A Brownie On Top

This bloody from Score on Davie in Vancouver, BC checks all of the boxes. It will cover your brunch, dinner, and dessert (probably for a whole week if you could actually keep the garnish intact). This bloody is packed to the brim with buffalo chicken wings, burgers, potatoes and an entire roasted chicken (hey, at least it isn’t fried). To round things off, you also get a whip cream-topped brownie because you’re going to need something a little sweet after all that salt, meat and spice. You might want to share this one with your friends.

Brunch For Two At Party Fowl

Nashville-based Party Fowl knows how to do brunch for couples (at least couples who enjoy being total pigs). You won’t find their signature “Brunch for Two” on the entrée menu. Nope! Head straight to the cocktail section to get this monster Bloody Mary topped with two whole, fried chickens. You’d think two chickens is enough, but just in case you’ve got an appetite, the drink comes packed with two Scotch eggs, eight pieces of fried okra and an avocado. Just as you’d expect, this glorious concoction was the product of a really bad hangover. What great brunch innovation isn’t?

The Big Fix

If you’re a fan of crab and tater tots (who isn’t a fan of tater tots?) head over to The Flipside in Nashville, Tennessee. The casual burger joint is inspired by the retro diners of the ’50s, and no trendy brunch spot would be complete without a killer Bloody Mary. During brunch hours, the restaurant has two for one classic Bloody Marys, but they also offer “The Big Fix.” This specialty bloody includes two full strips of bacon, a skewer of tater tots and chicken and a giant piece of snow crab claw. It’s certainly a unique take on the classics that focus on beef or sausage.

The String Cheese Incident

There is something about Wisconsin and Bloody Marys. While Revere’s Wells Street Tavern doesn’t have the biggest, most obscene, bloody of the bunch it does have the most nostalgic. The bloody at Revere’s Wells Street Tavern is topped with oodles and oodles of string cheese noodles. It will remind you of the after-school hangouts filled with delicious Polly-O. The mix is a custom blend of spices complete with a beef stick, pickle, lemon, lime and two olives. The string cheese will warm your childhood heart while the alcohol will warm your bad, adult self. Go ahead and indulge!

The Meal In A Glass

For $18, Desoto Central Market will give you the Kraken. This souped-up Bloody Mary has been dubbed a “meal in a glass” – plus, it comes with dessert for all you sweet-tooths. This Bloody Mary has all the usual fixins including a stalk of celery, some asparagus, olives, and carrots. Then comes the good stuff – an onion-topped slider and a super sweet chocolate brownie. These puppies are only served on the weekends between 10 a.m. and 4 p.m., so those who wish to indulge better carve out some crucial brunch time. Beware of the Kraken, you might just be too full for a real meal later.

Homeslice’s Cold Pizza Bloody Mary

There’s nothing like a slice of cold pizza the morning after a rough night out. Pair that with a perfect Bloody Mary and you’ve got the hangover cure of the century. Chicago’s Homeslice knows the deal when it comes to boozy brunch treats and that’s why they created the pizza-topped embodiment of the hair of the dog. This concoction is topped with a slice of Hawaiian-style pizza and served with a pony of Miller High Life. It’s also got all the fix-ins of a regular bloody, from the Tabasco to the pepperoni to the pepperoncini.

Something Salty, Something Sweet

Huntington Beach, California is home to a gorgeous shoreline, picturesque palm trees and the sweetest Bloody Mary you’ll ever have the pleasure of tasting. Hailing from Sea Legs Wine Bar, the “Donut of the Day” Bloody Mary is topped with salty strips of bacon and a chocolate-dipped, maple-bacon cronut. It’s served up in an oh-so-cute mason jar making us wonder if there was ever a Bloody Mary more catered to our Pinterest and Instagram pages. Regardless of how sweet this bloody looks and tastes, it definitely packs a punch when the spice cuts in. Whoever said doughnuts don’t go with Tabasco was completely mistaken.

Bloody Mary Sundae

Sunday or sundae — whichever you want to call it. This sundae of a Bloody Mary is served on Bloody Mary Sundays at Crazy Fox Saloon in San Francisco, California. The bar is known for its bloodies, and have a few different concoctions on their menu including a bloody with a hot dog and pretzel (clearly pulling a Times Square or ballgame theme) and a corned beef-themed bloody (complete with half a corn beef on rye). None are as gorgeous as the full bloody breakfast. This cocktail contains a stick of mini-pancakes, a breakfast burrito, a powder sugar-topped donut and some fresh fruit. Yum!

Grilled Cheese And Sushi Bloody

Some may argue a Bloody Mary has no bounds. Others may argue that when you start putting sushi on your Bloody Mary, you’ve crossed a clear line. Sunda, a new Asian restaurant in Chicago, Illinois, took Asian-inspired cocktails to a new level with their $40 Sumo Bloody Mary. The concoction is only served on weekends and arrives in a Pinterest-worthy, 32-ounce mason jar, but things start to get weird fast. This bloody is topped with half a grilled cheese-and-tocino sandwich, a duck bao, braised pork belly, lumpia stick, stalks of Chinese broccoli, and for some reason a crab sushi roll. Is the sushi going too far?

The Loaded Mary At Timeout Sports Bar

Timeout Sports Bar, which has locations across Cocoa Beach, Florida has a seriously superior Bloody Mary. The best part about this monster Mary is the fact that you can customize it however you want. Every Sunday, the sports bar brings out 33 different ingredients that include soft pretzels, waffles, shrimp, cheese and occasionally mini-tacos and hard-boiled eggs. It’s up to the customer to pick their poison (or get all of the above!). Garnish your beast with a pretzel and some mozzarella sticks for a greasy take on a classic, or keep it simple with olives and celery.

The Chubby Mary

Most of us aren’t really fighting to have a whole fish drowning in our drink, but then again, is it really off limits if it’s in a bloody? This wild Bloody Mary from the Cove in Leland, MI comes topped with an entire smoked fish (you can even look into the poor soul’s eyes if you so wish). The cocktail is simultaneously simple and unique without being completely over-the-top (sometimes we just want to chill rather than stuff our faces with pulled pork sliders and strips of bacon while we’re enjoying a brunch cocktail). Served with a plate of crackers, what more could you need for the perfect brunch appetizer?