On a daily basis, we are bombarded with endless amounts of billboards and neon signs usually advertising something that we probably couldn’t care less about. Yet, once in a blue moon, we are treated with a sign that has a malfunction, giving the sign a totally new and hysterical meaning. From major retailers to mom-and-pop shops, it’s incredible what one little malfunction can do to the branding on an entire store. Click through to see what happened at Big Lots!
Blockbuster After Hours
As a child, not much could compare to the uncontainable excitement of going to Blockbuster on Friday nights. The smell of popcorn, the shelves of candy, and the endless movie collection was the pinnacle of any kid’s week. Apparently, little did we know, that after our movie had ended and we were fast asleep Blockbuster took on a new look for a new set of customers. It appears that what was once crowded with eager kids selecting movies, turned into a much more deviant kind of video store. We wonder what kind of crowd this sign attracted at 2 am?
The Best Kind Of Carnival
Something tells us that this carnival is not of the yard equipment variety. More than likely located next to a laundromat, people waiting for their clothes to wash and dry can make a quick pit stop at the carnival to make doing laundry more interesting. Apparently, this is a no-shame establishment with all of the lights completely on for everyone to see the mischief going on inside. With the Hoe Carnival up and running you won’t have to ask your husband more than once to do the laundry ever again.
This sign is for all of the people who think there are still 10 more seconds to use the crosswalk even though you’re not supposed to. Although it is offensive and nobody wants to get the bird flipped to them, let alone by a machine, it’s pretty effective. Out of natural instinct, I wonder how many people have given this sign the middle finger right back. All in all, this malfunction just seems too good to be true. We’d be willing to bet that this was orchestrated by a group of seriously clever hooligans that just want to sit back and watch the world burn.
Robes! Get Your Robes Here!
Bigots, the one-stop shop store for all of your racist and hateful needs. They carry everything from klansman robes to genuine Nazi apparel; they even have a tailor on-site. On Sunday’s, they have goose step lessons for the little ones and open readings from Mein Kampf. This Saturday, there is a buy-one-get-one-free deal on tiki torches so you and your loved ones can head over to the upcoming rally in style. Also, if you talk to the right people, they may even show you the hidden gun store in the back, fully automatic weapons included! Totally kidding. This is hilariously awful.
It’s OFF The Chain!
Nothing screams good food, family fun, and great times better than Jerkins Family Restaraunt and Bakery! I doubt that it’s called that because of their in-house made beef jerky though. Your best bet is probably to stick with a salad but leave out the dressing because who knows what’s going on in the back. Even though this is clearly a sign malfunction, it’s probably confusing people as well, since you have to get up close to see that any part of the sign is out. If it took longer than six months for the owners to fix, people probably started to refer to the restaurant by the name on the malfunctioning sign!
What Kind Of Rentals?
What would we do without our favorite rental place? They are providing the community with an extremely valuable and much-needed service, and are the only ones brave enough to do it. In all seriousness, in this day and age, butt rentals actually don’t seem that far-fetched with all of the plastic surgeries and body modifications going around. Before you know it, you’ll be able to rent Kim Kardashian’s exact butt mold at the local CVS down the street to impress everyone at the club. What have we become?
One Nation, Under God
In the United States, we pride ourselves on our rich history and commemorate all things surrounding the birth of our great nation. We have statues and monuments to remember those who dedicated their lives to our cause and museums full of artifacts. With that being said, it would be un-American for us to not commemorate the first American breast. So, it appears someone took matters into their own hands and did it for us. Hopefully, this will be recognized in Washington and will be moved to the National Mall for all to see.
“Tag Someone That Would Stay Here”
It’s a tale as old as time – make fun of the virgin in the group. Well, this establishment has taken things one step further and even set up a place for the entire virgin community to come together and unite as one. It’s either that or this is a place where the virgins are exiled to, we don’t know. What we do know is that whoever owns this lodge better find a solution to this problem quickly, because nobody wants to be seen checking in or out of the virgin lodge or else, you know what happens.
At Least They Have Beer!
Well, there really isn’t too much to say about this one. It’s pretty straightforward. Although the sign itself is just flat-out disturbing, another concerning thing is that there’s a car parked out front when the store is open. Hopefully, it’s the only person working and they’re wondering why they haven’t had any customers yet. Also, by the looks of their beer selection, they probably have a great happy hour if you’re willing to risk it. Just remember to bring your drink into the bathroom with you – never unattended!
A New Planet Has Been Discovered
Contrary to popular belief, a new moon has been discovered in the Milky Way Galaxy. It’s a moon that has been orbiting the planet Uranus, we’ve just never had the ability to see it until now. Scientists have been scrambling to get a group of brave astronauts there as quickly as possible. They claim that there are keys to understanding our existence located somewhere on the planet, and it has nothing to do with the name whatsoever. Pray for the brave astronauts who seemed more than eager to risk their lives to reach this new destination. Godspeed.
Sounds About Right
The sad thing about this sign malfunction is that it’s probably not going to deter a single customer away from giving them their business. I mean, who can pass up a beer and wine drive through no matter what the sign says? Also, the sign isn’t exactly misleading, needing your car in order to buy alcohol probably isn’t the best combination, because we all know how 2 AM beer runs go down. We just hope whoever took this picture got home safe and sound without living up to this rather malicious sign’s name.
It’s About Time
This spot opened up just in time. I think we were all running out of room for our MILFs and needed a second location to store them all. Starting at a low payment of $20 a month, you can fit up to 10 MILFs in one unit. If you’re a serious MILF collector, you can upgrade to a $30 a month unit which fits over 25. Refer a friend and you get a month’s storage for free! But honestly, we’d be curious to know if the owner of this self-storage place even knows what a MILF is, hopefully, he’s seen American Pie.
No Appointment Necessary
Is it just us or does nobody like going to the doctors? It smells weird, there’s usually an old man touching your body, and half the time you’re there because you think you’re on your deathbed. Well, it looks like this joint isn’t changing the way we view the doctor’s office. Aside from the tempting neo cocktail sign, something tells us that we want nothing to do with this place. On the other hand, there very well may be some people who would find this appealing. I mean, if you’re into that whole doctor fetish thing.
You wanna know what we like right when I wake up? A fresh cup of coffee, a bagel, and a nice big bowl of cock yogurt. You know what they say, breakfast is the most important meal of the day! Some people say that it’s too fatty and that they add preservatives, but the taste makes it all worth it. Sold only at a few stores, it’s become a high commodity for a lot of people. We know some people that make sure to include it into every meal. I heard it also does amazing things for your skin and cuticles.
Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds
Some people tell you to say no to drugs, but according to this sign, LSD is the beginning of something wonderful. That sounds pretty appealing, so we think we’ll take the sign’s word for it. If you look closely, it appears that you can buy some tabs of acid at your favorite retail stores such as Nordstroms, Macy’s, Emporium, and Mervyns, so it can’t be that bad, right? I’m sure that would make shopping with your mom a lot more interesting. It might take an extra eight hours, but hey, you’d have fun doing it!
You’re driving alone at night and almost running out of gas, do you stop here? As if filling up your car with gas isn’t terrible already, now you have to stop and fill up in actual hell. It’s as if you can already see the undead poking out from behind the gas pumps. We think we’ll pass on this one and eventually run out of gas, call AAA, and get towed to another gas station in the area. Maybe someone was nice enough to tell the clerk inside that there’s a serious issue with the sign. I’m sure it would help to increase business.
Yea Man, Ease Off
This sign is clearly trying to tell something to someone. Maybe for some people, this is just a funny sign malfunction, but to others, this might very well be a message from God. This was what finally made them come to the realization that maybe it’s time to lay off the… yea you get it. Once again, I don’t know if this is some natural phenomenon that created this piece of art, or if somebody took manners into their own hands to deface this piece of property in the funniest way possible. We’re going to say it was God.
All You Can Eat
Now, this sign malfunction could mean multiple different things. Is the buffet food nasty? Are there nasty things going on inside of the buffet? Is it a buffet of nastiness? The possibilities are endless really, so, all the more reason to head over to your nearest Nasty Buffet to see for yourself. Word around town is that nobody that goes into a Nasty Buffet ever comes out. We wonder why? Don’t those big glowing red block letters let you know that there’s nothing but good, clean family fun going on inside?
This is one of those lucky situations where a sign malfunction actually worked out in the favor of the establishment. Although it is a little unprofessional and a bit obvious, nonetheless, it gets the job done. You know that anyone that caught a glimpse of this broken sign will never refer to it by its original name ever again. It is forever “Imhurt” Emergency Center, Elmhurst is a thing of the past. You would think that an emergency and trauma center would have enough money to fix this immediately, or maybe they’re just rolling with it.
It’s A Family Owned Restaraunt
I don’t know about you, but this new and improved sign would probably make me more intrigued to sit down and try one of these “Worlds Greatest Hamburgers” than the original. It’s just too blatant and in your face to pass up. It’s understandable that maybe you wouldn’t want to take your children there, for fear of them asking you to take them to you-know-what again, but even that would be a little funny. Hopefully, the owner realized this broken sign fast enough so an angry soccer mom didn’t have to tell them what their sign said on the side of the freeway.