After Reading These Breakup Messages, You’ll Love Being Single
Breaking up is almost never fun and can be pretty brutal depending on the circumstances of the split. Some people are so bad at breaking up that they choose to do it over text message or other not-in-person messages and it almost never goes off without a hitch. Prepare yourself if you’ve ever got dumped through a text or similar message because these breakups will give you some serious relationship PTSD.
Who Lost This One?
If you had to decide which of these two lost on something, who would it be? The person who wants to break up might never find another lover again, but neither might the one who wants to get married.
Both of these people need to do a little more soul searching before they get involved with someone else. It’s clear they don’t know when they’re on the same page as the person they are sharing a life with.
Tough Day Looking At Yourself
Talk about a horrible day to wake up. Imagine waking up to brush your teeth, and this is what you see in the mirror as you walk into the bathroom.
It looks like the person who did the dumping drew the circle at the perfect height for their former flame which means they put some thought into this message. If you’re too scared to break up with someone in person, maybe you shouldn’t be dating.
Shawn Wasn’t Ready
Rachel sounds like a bright young lady who knows how boys should act if they wish to get married. Shawn sounds like someone who doesn’t like talking to people if you believe everything Rachel says.
How did this kid not talk to Rachel for three months? He asked her out and decided to go ghost for no reason? That does sound like a way for you to lose out on a potential marriage with someone. Kid breakups are hilarious and sometimes spot-on.
Paul Loses The Dog
As far as cold-blooded go, this one might top the list. How could someone put their personal information on display for everyone to see? Surely some people in that area know who Paul is and why he’s getting a divorce.
Paul can never show his face in that part of town again unless he wants someone to talk about the elephant in the room. That’s too bad he didn’t get to keep the dog after facing shame like this.
This Guy MESSED UP
We really want to know if Kelsi knew about this guy’s girlfriend of two years, if not, he’s probably in double trouble. When she added, “I can’t guarantee anybody else won’t find it,” it was like throwing an extra dagger into her ex’s heart.
Those items he has to go hunting for might not turn up when he gets there and that’s probably a big part of his ex-girlfriend’s revenge plans. If he’s lucky it’s her only revenge plan.
Do I Have Your Attention?
Emily found every synonym she could find that would help describe the slimy person that Steven was. She even added “poorly-endowed” to make sure he took her poster seriously.
Crazy enough, she even paid for that billboard with the money from their joint account. Does that mean she already took out all her money from it? This guy Steven messed up so bad it’s almost not funny. That’s what happens when you fool around with someone else.
This Guy Is Smooth
This guy managed to break up with his ex using a single photo on Instagram. It wasn’t a hard post to create but it was a big public slap in the face.
Finding out your boyfriend broke up with you via social media is probably the saddest way to end a relationship in the digital age. There will be more on this list that is plenty sad, but this one hits hard because of its public nature.
Did He Tell Her?
Ouch, Dave doesn’t have his family anymore, and he’s broke. On top of all that, he has to clean this off the back of his car!
If you’re going to cheat, maybe you shouldn’t do it with someone who has access to all of your financial information. Dave may have learned his lesson but we have a feeling someone who is cheating on there wife doesn’t have the greatest moral compass to begin with.
This Is Wild
If this is how you get broken up with, how do you react to something like this? This guy drew himself riding a giraffe because he couldn’t describe how he felt about breakup up with her.
You can’t tell any of your friends this is how you became single. If anyone asks, it would be better to say that person got hit by a train. Instead, he gave you a note with a giraffe on it.
Erin, It’ll Be Okay
The way this starts makes you think Erin was about to receive a proposal. After all, she is like sunshine in the rain. Her beautiful smile probably wasn’t enough to keep this guy around.
When the note transitions to the word “regret,” that’s when Erin’s heart probably dropped into her stomach. She couldn’t have predicted that this is the direction it would go. At least her ex-boyfriend “regrets” the breakup to some degree.
What A Great Joke
This is no way to get broken up with unless your ex was a clown. In which case, it probably serves you better if that person isn’t around anymore. Who would break up with someone using a knock-knock joke?
The way she asked who’s there makes this so tough to read. On a positive note, she probably avoided a life with some guy who can’t get over dad jokes before they even have kids.
This Only Works If He Read The Paper
If the person intended to read this didn’t get to it, it would be for nothing and their awkward appearance back at their ex’s house would be extra awkward. It isn’t clear if Kevin Maxey wrote this or if it’s addressed to Kevin, but maybe someone who knows this person told them about the public shaming they were dealt with this ad.
We’re not sure we could tell our friend if we saw their name in the paper like this. We’d probably just assume they got the message and wait for them to figure it out on their own.
A Savage Exchange
Talk about two very different wishes. Relationships are tough and sometimes we think we’re on the same page when the other person is way out in the left-field and preparing to run out the door.
You can’t recover from a joke like that, because, let’s be honest, it’s less of a joke and more of a personal attack. Even if this was a joke, would you want to stay with this person after their horrible attempt at making you laugh?
Keenan Needs To Try Harder
Wow, Keenen can’t tell a proper joke? To get broken up with because you aren’t funny sounds like something a guy can accept. It permits him to watch comedies all day to improve their jokes.
If this person prides themselves on being funny, then maybe this would hurt a little more. Keenan won’t ever be able to tell a joke the same way again. All he’ll remember is his ex leaving him for not being funny.
Forced To Move Out!
If this was how her husband found out that he got caught, that would make it even better. What kind of facial expression would someone have if this is how they learned their wife was leaving them?
You can imagine it wouldn’t be a pleasant feeling, but what goes around comes back around. It seems like this wife had a positive relationship with the neighbors, so we suggest she should have made her husband leave. On the other hand, his relationship with the neighbors is probably super weird and negative now.
Isn’t That The Point?
Isn’t the point of breaking up with someone to move on and look for a person who isn’t the same as the last one? Whenever a person says you’ll never find anyone like me after a breakup needs to know that’s the point.
The dumped didn’t take that message too well, but their attempt to call out their now ex didn’t go over the way they were hoping it would with their response.
A Corporate Break
Break up messages don’t always have to be for boyfriends or girlfriends. As you can see here, this young woman decided to write a letter to her employer, Five Guys.
This might mean she doesn’t get discounted burgers anymore, but it sounds like she’s doing what her hearts wants her to do. Hopefully, Five Guys didn’t take this message too harsh, and both parties involved can still be friends in the future.
At Least You Get A Treat
To be fair, this isn’t such a bad way to have someone leave your life. You get tasty cheesy breadsticks as a farewell gift, but you won’t have anyone to cuddle with when it gets cold at night.
Maybe this person knew their former significant other drowned their bad days in snacks and they wanted to give them some comfort. On the other hand, breaking up with someone using cheesy breadsticks is probably not the best way to go.
The Best Garage Sale
Garage sales sometimes have some great offerings, but you have to be a scavenger to find the really cool stuff. Since all of this wife’s things must go, there were probably so many exclusive items at this sale that someone normally wouldn’t sell!
She cheated, so this is her price for being disloyal. Once you say I do, cheating should never be in the equation. If it is, the repercussions that follow are all fair game. Adding insult to injury, we assume he pocketed the money from selling her stuff.
Spell It Out!
Their first mistake was asking to spell it. Still, this is an obscure way to end things because “ily” usually stands for I love you. Maybe that was the approach this person wanted to take with this one.
If it was on purpose, the person doing the dumping is pretty cold-hearted. How can you trick someone by making them think you said I love you, only to have it mean I’m leaving you?
A Fantasy Break Up
“I wanted to let you know that I have already married and divorced you in my mind,” wrote Greg. That line alone is all anyone needed to read from this message.
Greg luckily gets to keep the house in Hawaii, but he doesn’t get to leave with the cat. Honestly, an animal might be more rewarding to have, because you can’t play with a house! Well, Greg can always buy a dog in this imaginary scenario.
That Was Pretty Funny
Be honest, that was pretty funny. It wasn’t funny enough to save the relationship, but it was enough to make this person giggle. At least things didn’t end on a sour note!
Now, the person who got dumped can look back at this thread and laugh at something. There will probably be some pain involved, but the end will always be comical. It’s okay for this to be the end if someone wants to laugh about it.
Getting To The Point
Sometimes, the simple ones hurt the most. You start to wonder why the person didn’t get into more detail and you question if he or she really liked you in the first place.
The short and sweet breakups leave the door open for more closure unless there isn’t anything left to discuss. Alexander probably felt really weird after reading this breakup message from Jenny. Hopefully, he took it like a champion.
Off To Australia!
Would you rather get broken up with and get no cake, or get broken up with and have a cake with it? Most would prefer not to have someone leave them, but getting a cake from it doesn’t sound too bad.
At least whoever did this was thoughtful enough to tell them with this delicious dessert. The sugar can only hide some of the pain before it all lets loose.
Say Bye To Valerie
It’s pretty evident that a kid did this, but if an adult did it, someone needs to have that person checked. Valerie didn’t deserve to have her fictional head chopped off, but that’s how it went down.
It’s like they’re living in the period of Henry the Eighth, but that isn’t the case. This could’ve scarred Valerie for life, having some child draw an image of her head getting sliced onto the ground.
On Their Anniversary??
Breaking up with someone on your anniversary can permanently scar someone’s ego. After that whole month of being together, Krystal probably thought things were in a good place. Hopefully, Krystal’s parents helped her through this tough situation.
This boy had the nerve to put “It’s really hard to do this,” as his final message to this girl. You can bet he’ll never hear from Krystal again for as long as he lives.
Ron Needs Some Grammer Skills
Let’s start from the beginning. At first, Ron thought he wasn’t going to have a girlfriend anymore because he isn’t any good at math. His ex corrected him and kindly reminded him how to form sentences.
It sounds like his issue is deeper than math, it’s grammar-related! Jokes aside, we want to know what the real reason for this break-up involved. Maybe he was just really bad at all forms of educational material.
Nice Try, Pal
This might be the oldest trick in the book. If this man wasn’t joking, you can bet that this was an informal way of breaking up with this woman. He wants no parts of that baby!
This is why people need to wrap it up if they plan on doing adult things. If you aren’t ready to have a child, you shouldn’t play around with the lights off and door closed.
Well, That’s Awkward
If you’re going to break up with someone in a very public manner you should definitely be as creative as possible. You’re still a jerk but at least you’re a creative jerk.
We’re getting that Jennifer probably cheated which led to this reaction from her ex. Who else would go through such great lengths just to tell them they have to move out in six days? A person who feels betrayed, that’s who.
The Rare Double Breakup
Some people can’t even get a text back but this guy Steve Frazer managed to have two girlfriends waiting in his corner. It seems that one of them found out about the other and got her involved.
Looking at the selfie they used for Steve, he gives off a vibe of deception. Taking a picture in your car while driving means you like to take unnecessary risks, such as juggling two women.
When You’re In Denial
Have you ever liked someone so much that you couldn’t believe it when it was time to end things? Whoever got dumped here didn’t want to let go and it might give you second-hand embarrassment.
This person might be on the verge of going crazy if you think about it. Denying the break up multiple times doesn’t help anyone but makes you look like a desperate square. Maybe doing this in person would have been better.
There’s No Hope
If you get a full list of reasons why you’re getting broken up with, you shouldn’t even respond. The first thing on the list is already something that shouldn’t get mentioned.
As you go down the list, the things start to get trivial, but this person doesn’t like any of it. Honestly, the one who got dumped shouldn’t want to be with whoever this is because it sounds like they didn’t like anything!
When They Don’t Get The Point…
As you witnessed earlier, some people don’t take breakups well. If they’re in denial, then they might become oblivious. They say love is blind, but this is a lack of common sense.
Since Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake broke up over a decade ago, that should’ve been the one to finally make things click. Sadly, the one doing the dumping had to finally come out and say what was going on between them.
Laura Is A Savage
Laura handled all phases of the breakup in one fell swoop instead of doing it in a natural way. It looks like this is at a grocery store in a part of the world where they use mum instead of mom.
Dan must frequent this place often for Laura to decide to post the message there. All he had at her place was a few items of clothing and nothing else? This guy probably was mooching off Laura.
Wow, This Is Golden
When you can’t think of how to break up with someone, you can always recycle this line from The Dark Knight Rises. If you do that, just make sure you’re using it on someone who hasn’t seen the film.
Even though that’s a line from a movie, it sounds awfully tragic. After spending so much time and effort on someone, to only go your separate ways after running into each other in France, sounds sad.
Time To See Other People
Here’s a creative way to end things with someone. While he or she gets excited about a movie recommendation and potentially seeing it together, you bust out this move out of nowhere.
The “sweety” in this text thread sets this up so smoothly, it should be a crime. That or this person does this often, because who would even come up with something as sinister as this? A person who has had a lot of practice.
A Double Magic Trick
The boyfriend didn’t expect such a great rebuttal. He thought he was home safe, but then she told him she’s pregnant. This guy said “sure,” not knowing this heat was coming.
Realizing that you’re about to become a father drains the joy from the feeling you thought you were about to have: freedom. It looks like they’ll have to work this thing out, or a child won’t have a two-parent home.
A Creative Way To Do It
First came love, then the time they spent together. Soon enough, the feelings diminished for the guy, so it was time for him to say goodbye. When he said it, he did it in a creative way.
Imagine someone breaking up with you with emojis. That’s pretty disrespectful, but it isn’t as bad as the guy who drew himself riding a giraffe. At least with this, you can see he sent you art.
She Has A Whole Slew!
This lady had a slew of men! That’s too bad for this guy who had already given her a house key, because it means he thought things were serious. You can never be too sure.
A question that needs answering is how did he figure out she had all those other guys waiting on her? In any case, it’s time to move on and probably change the locks on your door while you’re at it.
This lets you know how sneaky can be. Without realizing he texted his wife, he broke up with a different person. On the other hand, this was probably his way of doing it.
By “mistakenly” sending the text, it allows him to indirectly tell his wife he wants a divorce. There’s no other option for them now unless they talk it out and try to work on things for the rest of the marriage.