These Vintage Ads Will Seduce You

Face it folks, racy sells. Everything from grapefruit to PEZ to tires. Check out some of these vintage ads for proof.

Suggestive Grapefruit?

Suggestive Grapefruit?

The proper advertising can sell people on just about anything. As you can see from this vintage ad, the Sunkissed corporation had no shame in turning an innocent fruit into something almost not safe for work. I wonder if mothers grocery shopping with the kids had to avert their attention elsewhere while picking fruit?

Don’t Even Ask

Don’t Even Ask

Well, this young lady has had way too much fun this evening, lol. See what a $10 bottle of Bulgarian vodka can get you? FLIRT Vodka is described as “Delicate, grainy aromas and flavors of wet grain, lemon creme fraiche, raisin bread, and peppercorns with a supple, bright, dryish medium-to-full body and a warming, appealing, breezy powdered sugar, gelatin candy, figs, and wet stones finish. A solid, all-purpose vodka.”

Put that Fire Out!

Put that Fire Out!

I can’t help but think of that old TV show, “Emergency” when I see this vintage ad. But to be honest, I don’t remember anything this pretty sliding down the pole. Beer companies like Miller have always had fun with their advertising. Miller has been around for a very long time, so I guess those advertising dollars are really working overtime.

A Sweater Makes the Man

A Sweater Makes the Man

“If you guys don’t buy our new Drummond sweaters, we’ll go right back to male models.” That’s certainly one to promote your product. The 1967 ad campaign stirred up more questions than anything. Most agreed that they should have simply explained more about their magnificent sweaters than anything else.

Griffin Microsheen

Griffin Microsheen

Even items such as shoe polish weren’t protected from the onslaught of hyper-sensual ads. Griffin definitely had what was considered in the mid-1950s to be some of the sleaziest of ads. Everything from women walking naked in the rain, to Monroe wannabees promoting the product. It was a men’s product but you rarely saw a man’s face or foot in the campaign.

World’s Largest Lemons

World’s Largest Lemons

You heard me right, lol. For companies back in the day, much like today’s modern times, skin equals a sale. I’m really quite shocked that women bought anything from some of these companies. I mean, it’s not like the men did most of the shopping during this period anyway.

Pepsi Wants in on it Too

Pepsi Wants in on it Too

I’m not quite sure if this is supposed to be a Barbie Doll promoting Pepsi or not. I’m sure Pepsi didn’t care at the time either. In the battle to be the number one drink, anything goes. Coca-Cola was and still is considered the fiercest competition to Pepsi and probably always will be. To the victor goes the spoils. Speaking of which…

Coca-Cola Vintage Ad

Coca-Cola Vintage Ad

Coke has been the number one selling soft drink it seems forever, but that wasn’t always so. But when you are on top, your goal is to stay there. Many a man have purchased something based solely on an ad they saw. Most of the time it’s an impulse buy. No matter what, the product had better be worth it.

SOS Soap Pads

SOS Soap Pads

SOS pads are one of those nearly universal products that many find they can’t do without. They would probably sell even during a nuclear winter. I see no need for someone to be draped all over a freshly washed car while someone else is cleaning the wheels, but hey, who am I to question SOS. Then again, I can’t remember the last time I saw whitewall tires, lol.

Say Pepsi, Please

Say Pepsi, Please

And drink it ice cold. She may as well not have on a shirt for how revealing this blouse is! It’s a pretty sure bet that no one is paying any attention to all the food on the table, that she’s probably spent hours preparing.

Even Radios Can Be Sensual

Even Radios Can Be Sensual

Radio was still a new thing in cars int the nineteen-fifties. But I doubt if they came with a hot chick. I think it’s perfect advertising for the times since mostly men owned cars way back when. On just about any old-time television show or movie, you normally saw the man taking out the girl for a malt or movie before heading out to “Makeout Point” or whatever. Doesn’t mean he got lucky though.

The Poolboy?

The Poolboy?

This is one confusing vintage ad. “Lure him away from the pool boy” promotes the ad. Huh? I really don’t think she can do it, lol. Bless her for trying, though. Seriously, this is a fake, a parody on the Jantzen brand. The swimwear company is doing just fine today, still promoting their products. Even though this would be a brilliant ad in these times.

Ice Capades

Ice Capades

Haha, sometimes the most innocent of ads turns out to be a worst case scenario for some companies. Then again, it could be their greatest advertisement ever! I gotta admit, most people on the ice fall in this fashion but this is more fun to watch on a poster. I wonder how many guys took their girl to Ice Capades just because of this vintage ad?

Lucy Does RC Cola

Lucy Does RC Cola

Wow, Lucy was hot! Having a celebrity promote a product is advertising gold. Having a mega celebrity like Lucille Ball promoting your product back in the day was akin to the Starship Enterprise giving free tours to Saturn. RC probably sold more cola during this campaign than ever in its history. Although playful, RC Cola and Lucy made sure to keep it fun, family and a little bit raunchy at the same time. Great job.

Throw Some Shade

Throw Some Shade

This is a brilliant ad. Funny and very cheeky at the same time. Companies need to be able to laugh at themselves too. Australia’s Foster’s Lager has been around since 1886, so they can certainly afford to loosen up whenever they want to. And they want their lager to be super chilled at all times it seems.

Burger Blow

Burger Blow

I don’t think this campaign lasted too long. Burger King was absolutely ridiculed to Hell and back in 2009 for this blatant ad. Urging consumers to “fill your desires” for something “long” and “juicy”, promising that you will “yearn for more” after you eat some. Hell, even the model sued Burger King for this rather shameless “sex sells” ad, lol.

Tires are A Turn-On, Too

Tires are A Turn-On, Too

Firestone thinks you have something better to do than changing a tire. And they would be right. This is one of the few subtle ads I’ve seen that still manages to be pretty seductive. And one of the very few that doesn’t promote the girl before the product. I don’t know if Firestone sold more tires the year of this campaign, but the ad company did a really great job.

Are Firearms A Turn-On?

Are Firearms A Turn-On?

I guess so. “Gives More Than a Thrill” is what Harrison and Richardson Arms Sales says in its ads. Funny that more men owned firearms than men at the time, and nevermind the fact that the model wasn’t even trying to hold the rifle properly. But she is appealing, and wants you to know it!

The PEZ Explosion

The PEZ Explosion

Although primarily for children, that didn’t stop Australian company PEZ from “tarting” up its PEZ candy. PEZ has been around for at least fifty years and is still going strong today. Just about all of PEZ’s vintage ads are full of attractive girls sitting or laying on the company’s box of candy dispensers.

Get Lucky

Get Lucky

You just knew the cigarette companies had to get in on the vintage ads game.Before some of you start to really cry, no, this is not a Miss America. Interestingly enough, this racy vintage ad is from 1932, thanking the women of America for helping Lucky Strike Cigarettes become the number one selling cigarette of America in 1931! Really.

Pants Make the Man

Pants Make the Man

This allegedly suggestive ad is more creepy than anything. From the advert: Ring around Rosie. Or Carol. Or Eleanor, etc. Fun. But you can only play if you wear Broomsticks slacks. Hopsacks, twists, twills, flannels in blends of Acrilan and rayon for permanently pressed good looks. Play styles. Game colors. To help make you a winner. But if you don’t want to play our way–take off our pants and go home.

That’s “Jade” Baby

That’s “Jade” Baby

Another atractive but very creepy ad. It says, “If she doesn’t give it to you, get it yourself”, lol. That can certainly be misunderstood. Jade East aftershave is still sold to this day. I’ve never seen it except on the internet, but this ad must have instilled some sort of crazed loyalty who want a woman sized bottle of this stuff for themselves.

Putting the “Pep” in the Dr. Pepper

Putting the “Pep” in the Dr. Pepper

Dr. Pepper joins in on the racy vintage ad with this advert. I gotta admit, it’s hot. But that’s one big bottle to chug down all by yourself. I think beautiful women were and still are one of the advertiser’s greatest weapons. Even if your product wasn’t that popular, the advertisements made it seem that it was. Today, Dr. Pepper goes directly after the guys with its “Men Only” products. How times have changed.

Ridgid – Yeah, Right

Ridgid – Yeah, Right

Even polarity generators need a little love. Ok, I haven’t the faintest idea of what this thing even does. I know it has something to do with “spindizzy” and cruising at lightspeed, but that’s about it. Strangely enough, I want one for some reason. Maybe I can balance myself on my tiptoes like the model if I get one too. She’ll still look hotter in that apron/dress thing she’s wearing, though.

Tugging My Heartstrings

Tugging My Heartstrings

Tiparillo has all sort of creepy vintage ads. This one for a violinist tells me nothing about the product, but for some reason, I don’t seem to care. I just want violin lessons now instead of smoking. Plus the model keeps reminding me of royalty. Nah, it’s probably just me.

TASER Me Once, Shame On Me. TASER Me Twice…

TASER Me Once, Shame On Me. TASER Me Twice…

Yes, it’s what’s known as “faux” vintage. But I gotta say this; this is possibly the stupidest and creepiest ad I’ve ever seen. Why on earth would this beautiful girl in the ad be running with (away?) from her male friends (attackers?) with a TASER in her hand in the first place?

Smooth Men

Smooth Men

Mennen Shaving Cream gets into the act with this vintage ad for its product. This one comes to us all the back from 1946 when men were men and boys didn’t talk back or else!. These days it’s the scruffy look or the full-on “Man Beard” or even bushy goatee that seems to be in favor these days.

I Have No Words

I Have No Words

Well, this ad certainly gets to the point, lol. It’s without a doubt graphic and extremely creative and still manages to be somewhat suggestive at the same time. Wow, I can’t seem to stop laughing. I can see why this one has never shown up on a billboard. Can you imagine?

Disinfects, Too

Disinfects, Too

I can imagine a maid in an expensive hotel dressing this way. Happy as all get out, not a care in the world. She surely knows her disinfectants, dressed the way she is. Look at the way she gingerly cleans that bowl. She doesn’t even need a brush! Wait, what? You’ve got to be kidding! Hey you, get the Hell out of my wife’s dress!

I Think She Does Care

I Think She Does Care

Continental Oil Company, now known as Conoco, brings us this ad. It’s only meant to get your attention and then go into detail about the oil company. Why? Because revealing outfits sell, that’s why! Say what you want about it but the advertisement company did what they set out to do; make you look.

Interesting Concept

Interesting Concept

Obviously, a man came up with this one. It’d be interesting to see what would happen in our modern times if this were advertised today. This ad ran in Playboy for Weyenberg Massagic shoes in 1974. Ms. ran it in the mag’s No Comment section later that year. Its message is confusing. What can we make of the slogan, Keep her where she belongs…?” She belongs naked on the floor admiring your shoes?

The Right Bra

The Right Bra

Formfit, the bra company from the 1940’s brings women the Lifebra. This thing looks as if it could take out a Navy destroyer with one mighty sideswipe, lol. I guess that’s how it was in those days. The company had been around since 1917. They hung on until the 1980’s until their product suffered quality issues from outsourced producers.

You’ll Never Know

You’ll Never Know

Lingerie – fabulous. Model – flawless. Hospital setting – rather silly. But hey, that’s why we common folk know nothing about advertising I guess. If I were in the hospital under her care, I, like most other people, could care less about what she has on. I just want my medicine and jello.

I Want a Vacation

I Want a Vacation

At least this ad is appropriate for what it is. I don’t know if this ad from the 1960s would make me book a trip to the Bahamas, but it certainly would make me think about it. I especially like the “And if skin diving’s your pleasure, I’ve got that too. The best in the world” line. Nice.

Pipe Dream

Pipe Dream

There I was, ice skating, minding my own business. I was smoking my macho and manly pipe. Pipe Appeal Baby! Girls were falling all around me. I’d help one up, then another would fall. As I lifted them up, the first thing they noticed was my baseball cap which was hiding my male pattern baldness. A little pipe smoke in their eyes and they were putty in my hands. I wonder what they really think Prince Albert stands for???

The Pepsi Corporation Strikes Back

The Pepsi Corporation Strikes Back

I still don’t get the correlation between carbonated drinks and bare skin. All that burping doesn’t seem appealing to me. Either way, the posters always look great. And it always seems to sell a drink or two when you have a pretty lady next to a can of cola. Pepsi is still around, so I guess it goes to show that I know nothing.

Ursus Beer

Ursus Beer

Any company that can afford to laugh at themselves are great in my book. I’m sure this ad for Ursus beer was meant to be appealing, but to me at least, it almost tells me that the beer is flat and uninteresting. Not able to give me even a mildly entertaining time. Maybe I’m just looking to far into it.

I Want the High Life

I Want the High Life

Of all of the vintage ads I’ve seen so far, I’d say this was just about the best. The ad company really paid attention to detail with this one. Fridge full of beer? Check. A Freezer full of t-bone steaks? Yep. A Beautiful girl who knows how to fix said fridge in case of a breakdown? Paradise!

Brooke and Canon

Brooke and Canon

A seriously young Brooke Shields helped to promote the Canon-Mills towels corporation. At the time, the Blue Lagoon celebrity was so popular she probably could have sold reading glasses to the blind. This ad was made in 1984. The poster is still popular, and you’ll find it offered on Amazon and Ebay.

Nothing Comes Between

Nothing Comes Between

Nothing by any measurement can touch this ad. Versace had an incredibly insane marketing campaign to promote their products in the 1990s. Extremely edgy, with a “take no prisoners” attitude. Absolutely crazy, and yet absolutely seductive. This campaign was released in August of 1992. It surely helped establish Versace as a major player in the denim world. It also proves just how much seduction really sells a product.