These Last Statements By Death Row Inmates Are Utterly Bizarre

Everybody has to die someday. Be it accidental, on purpose, or in your sleep, your time will come. For those who have committed heinous crimes, that time arrives sooner than they might have planned. Death row inmates have to face their inevitable demise after they commit the most unspeakable crimes. When their time comes, they usually have some last words to offer. You can imagine how interesting it might get when they make their final statements. Prepare yourself: here are the most bizarre last words from death row inmates.

“I did not get my Spaghetti-O’s, I got spaghetti. I want the press to know this.”

Say hello to Thomas Grasso, a man who was mighty picky about the type of spaghetti he wanted. Thanks to two murders, he was sentenced to death. He strangled Hilda Johnson, an 87-year-old woman, with her Christmas tree lights.

The other murder came six months later when he killed Leslie Holtz, an 81-year-old man from Staten Island. He also stole the victim’s Social Security check. That was all in 1991 and on March 20, 1995, Grasso received a lethal injection after he complained about his final meal.

“I don’t care if I live or die. Go ahead and kill me.”

Curt Borgwardt/Sygma via Getty Images
Curt Borgwardt/Sygma via Getty Images

Jeffrey Dahmer was far from a stable human being. Dahmer, the Milwaukee Monster, or the Milwaukee Cannibal did a lot of terrible things to earn his way to prison. He committed the abuse, murder, and dismemberment of 12 men and boys starting from 1978 to 1991.

Maybe that’s why he didn’t care if he lived or died? A fellow inmate ended up being the one to end Dahmer’s life. His name was Christopher Scarver and he revealed why he did it. “He crossed the line with some people — prisoners, prison staff,” a newspaper quoted Scarver as saying. “Some people who are in prison are repentant — but he was not one of them.”

“Kiss my [expletive].”

Bureau of Prisons/Getty Images
Bureau of Prisons/Getty Images

They called John Wayne Gacy the Killer Clown. He was an avid serial killer and sexual assaulter who murdered at least 33 teenage boys and young men between 1972 and 1978 in Cook County, Illinois.

In 1980 he was sentenced to die, but stayed on death row for 14 years. On May 9, 1994, the Killer Clown had a private picnic with his family for his last meal which was KFC, fried shrimp, fries, strawberries, and a diet Coke. In his final statement he said that he wanted everyone to kiss him where the sun doesn’t shine.

“I’ll be back like Independence Day with Jesus, June 6, like the movie, big mothership and all. I’ll be back.”

Florida DOC/Getty Images
Florida DOC/Getty Images

Aileen Wuornos’ last words were very creative and so long that the whole thing wouldn’t fit in the headline. In the year-long span between 1989 and 1990, Wuornos killed seven men in Florida. She said that the men either assaulted her or sexually abused her while she was working as a call girl.

She further backed her case by claiming that the murders were all out of self-defense. Her full final statement was, “I’d just like to say I’m sailing with the Rock and I’ll be back like Independence Day with Jesus, June 6, like the movie, big mothership and all. I’ll be back.”

“It does kind of burn. Goodbye.”

Jose Villegas must have held some serious grudges. Villegas stabbed his ex-girlfriend, her mom, and the ex’s son to death at a home in Corpus Christi. There are few details about what they did, but his lawyers did ask the Supreme Court to end his punishment thanks to his IQ being only 59.

The Supreme Court has prohibited killing the mentally impaired and studies consider an IQ below 70 to be in that category. However, they denied the request several hours later and Villegas was put to death.

“I’d like you to give my love to my family and friends.”

Contributor/Getty Images
Contributor/Getty Images

Now, he didn’t have any nicknames or a low IQ, but perhaps, he was too smart for his own good. He for sure wasn’t safe to be around young women and girls during the ’70s and possibly earlier. Bundy was a serial killer, kidnapper, abuser, and necrophile who assaulted a vast number of women.

Shortly before his execution, after denying what he did for over a decade, he confessed to 30 homicides he committed in seven states. The exact number of victims remains unknown. Bundy died by electric chair on January 24, 1989.

“Take your time old man.”

Chicago History Museum/Getty Images
Chicago History Museum/Getty Images

At the time of the 1893 World’s Colombian Exposition, H.H. Holmes opened a hotel in Chicago designed with murder in mind. Holmes is widely considered to be America’s first serial killer. The hotel was the spot for many of his murders.

He ended up confessing to 27 murders, but only nine were confirmed. His real body count could be anywhere up to 200. On May 7, 1896, Holmes was hung at the Philadelphia County Prison.

“My left arm is killing me. It hurts bad.”

The attorneys who defend those who commit horrible crimes like these frequently use mental illness or mental instability as the prime excuse. Thats what they tried to use for Jonathan Green’s defense for what he did to Christina Neal.

Green abducted, abused, and strangled Neal. In 2000, they found her body, about a month after she was reported missing, in his home. The court sentenced Green to death by lethal injection and he died on October 10, 2012.

“I’d rather be fishing.”

Jimmy Glass didn’t need any lawyers to plead his case. After he made headlines for the murder of Newton Brown and his wife Erlene Nealy Brown at their home in Dixie Inn, he argued that electrocution violated the Eighth and Fourteenth Amendments.

The court, by 5-4, found that electrocution was indeed constitutional. Even though Glass thought it was “cruel and unusual punishment,” the people in charge thought what he did was uncalled for. He got the chair on June 12, 1987.

“Well, gentlemen, you are about to see a baked Appel.”

When someone kills a person of the law, specifically a police officer, the punishment is usually pretty serious. George Appel was convicted of first-degree murder after he ended the life of a policeman back in 1928.

The crime took place in New York City and the court elected to have him offed with the electric chair. Just as he was being strapped to the machine, he started laughing at the officers and made a “charming” joke for his last words.

“Hurry it up, you Hoosier [expletive]! I could hang a dozen men while you’re screwing around!”

Contributor/Getty Images
Contributor/Getty Images

Carl Pnazram was a serial killer, arsonist, abuser, and burglar. He was a very bold man and even confessed what he did in his autobiography. He said he committed 21 murders, most of which could not be corroborated, and more than 1,000 acts of sodomy.

He ended up getting jail time a few times, but also escaping. September 5, 1930, was the day he would finally meet his maker for the murder of a prison employee.

“Tell me. After my head has been chopped off, will I still be able to hear, at least for a moment…”

Hulton Archive/Getty Images
Hulton Archive/Getty Images

The Vampire of Düsseldorf and the Düsseldorf Monster were both Peter Kurten’s nicknames as a German serial killer. He committed a number of sexual assaults and murders between February and November 1929 in Düsseldorf.

He believed he was a vampire because he had drunk the blood of a slain swan. He also tried to drink his victims’ blood. His execution came on July 2, 1931. “Tell me. After my head has been chopped off, will I still be able to hear, at least for a moment, the sound of my own blood gushing from the stump of my neck? That would be a pleasure to end all pleasures.”

“This is not a loss, this is a win. You know where I am going. I am going home to be with Jesus. Keep the faith.”

Meet Kimberly McCarthy. She killed her 71-year-old retired college professor and neighbor, Dorothy Booth in Lancaster, Texas. She did it during a robbery and was also a suspect in the murders of two other older women in Texas.

Authorities never tried her for those other deaths. Her final federal appeal got denied in July 2012 and her execution came about on January 29, 2013. Based on her last words, she was not worried at all.

“My last words will be, Hokahey, it’s a good day to die.”

Is it ever a good day to die? According to Clarence Ray Allen, his execution day was. He was tried for the death of three people and sent to San Quentin State Prison located in California. He was 76 years old and became the second-oldest inmate to get executed in America since 1976.

He was already serving a life sentence for a different murder he’d committed. Then he got the charge for the three people. Pro-death activists pushed for his execution.

“Somebody needs to kill my trial attorney.”

George Bernard couldn’t keep his temper, it seems. After winning a game of craps, he purchased two machine guns. After he bought them, he gave them to a friend to hold for safekeeping, but the friend ended up hiding them.

When Bernard asked for them back, his friend refused and Bernard shot him with a .41 revolver. Two weeks after that, he was arrested for armed robbery. Apparently, he thought his trial attorney didn’t do a good enough job.

“I was once asked by somebody, I don’t remember who, if there was any way sex offenders could be stopped…

THERESE FRARE/AFP/Getty Images
THERESE FRARE/AFP/Getty Images

Westley Allan Dodd was considered to be one of the evillest killers in history. When you have people making signs like this about you, you know you’ve done something atrocious. Dodd was a serial killer and a child molester.

He got his death sentence after stabbing Cole Neer and his brother William near a Vancouver, Washington park in 1989. He also received the death penalty for abusing and murdering four-year-old Lee Iseli. Dodd’s execution was the first legal hanging since 1965.

“I think that governor’s phone is broke. He hadn’t called yet.”

Jeffrey David Matthews had his execution postponed three times after he committed the 1994 murder of his 77-year-old great uncle. The Oklahoma death row inmate was convicted of first degree murder in the death of Otis Earl Short.

Short was shot to death while a robbery was taking place at his home. After around two hours, Matthews left the home with $500 on his person and a .32-caliber pistol. It’s unclear how his execution was delayed so many times, but it was clear he committed the crime.

“Lock and load. Let’s do it, man.”

On November 19, 1976, a man named G.W. Green was accompanied by two other people who broke into a house that they then terrorized. After they had their fun, they ended up killing the father of the family who lived at the home.

Green was executed seven hours after the United States Supreme Court refused, with a vote of seven to two, to allow him a stay based on his argument of lacking assistance of counsel. He died on November 12, 1991.

“I just want everyone to know that the prosecutor and Bill Scott are sorry sons of [expletive].”

74-year-old Elizabeth Eakens died by the hand of Edward Ellis when he strangled her at a Houston apartment complex. He had recently been dismissed as a maintenance worker at the building. Authorities found the victim in her bathtub.

Ellis had been discharged on suspicion of stealing from that same complex earlier in the year. Authorities say that the motivation for murdering Eakens was robbery. Ellis received his death by injection at the state prison, but not before he called people bad names.

“Go Raiders.”

Robert Comer was convicted for murdering his neighbors, Larry Pritchard and Tracy Andrews, in 1987. He was sentenced to death by lethal injection in Arizona.

For some tricky legal reason, Comer waived his right to appeal in 2000, but the appeals were not stopped until early 2007, which was seven years later. Once that was settled, it wasn’t too much longer before his execution took place. According to NBC coverage of the event, Comer smiled throughout the execution.