From Superman to Batman and the X-Men, everyone loves Comic-Con events. The cool costumes, the carefully thought our cosplay themes, the…What? That girl looks nothing like Wonder Woman, and that MAN certainly better not be Princess Leia. Let’s take a good look at these cosplay and Comic-Con fails.
I gotta admit, while this is cute in a really sad sort of way, I don’t think the Fantastic Four’s “Thing” character would appreciate this pitiful attempt at cloning. Though I am curious how he got the styrofoam to stick, I don’t think I really want to know. Comic-Con Fail!
The Little VHS Tape
This is actually an original idea, I guess. I’ve never seen anyone try to cosplay a VHS tape cassette before. And I’m certain I never want to see it tried again. Is the kid trying to channel his inner “Ariel”? Is he trying to channel all the characters at once? Does he wish for a simpler time? I’m shocked that someone his age even knows what a VHS tape is.
“Sailor Moon” needs a shave. Badly. At least she’s brave enough to let the world know she’s most definitely NOT a real blonde. I always thought those anime characters were a bit too clean-cut for their own good. This just proves the point. To all parents: learn to fear this character.
Jigglypuff My Comic-Con
“Jigglypuff,” the deranged pink Pokémon looks nothing like this pink..thing you see below. And why would he be so cheap about it anyway? Why would he go to all the trouble of dressing up like a round, pink Pokémon a severe attention deficit disorder, but run out of pink makeup before he could do his face?.
“Jessie” from Pokémon’s “Team Rocket” is such a show-off. She’ll do anything to stay in the limelight. This one looks like she just came off the set of VH1’s “Behind the Music.” On that episode, she’ll probably explain that she uses a body double for all scenes and she just voices the character, for obvious reasons.
I Knew Misty was a Tranny
I’ve been telling people for years that Pokemon’s “Misty” was this guy I know named Travis. Well, today the truth finally came out. I heard Travis was found out because of his addiction to body-hugging yellow tank tops. He kept going into the men’s changing room at Target to try them on and the rest is history.
Cat Woman and The Baseball Turtle
Can you imagine this “Cat Woman(?)” below slinking around your home looking for a bowl of milk? Its always-dirty gut dragging on the floor or grass all day long? I’d lure it with some catnip to it’s scratching post while I hid in a closet with my aluminum bat. 20 minutes later Cat Woman would have a new home in the country. I’d stuff the weird turtle with cheese to give the cat some company.
I saw this one on the Discovery Channel the other day. It’s a prehistoric Comic-Con version of Spider-Man. Its extinction was found to be caused not by the massive meteorite which wiped out so many dinosaurs at the same time, but because it was too big to climb, and was too heavy for its web to support it after falling into a prehistoric box of Cheetos.
Red ziplock over the head notwithstanding, this cosplay isn’t all that bad. And by that I mean on a scale of Chernobyl, I’d rather be caught in a tsunami. This isn’t so much Angry Bird as Insane Bird. Hell, If I saw this one climbing a tree, I’d throw this boy at a wall whether he asked me to or not.
See what will gene splicing get you at Comic-Con? One angry Wolverine mixed with a really, really old and quite possibly dementia-laden banana. This isn’t gonna go down well at this guy’s retirement home. I am curious as to why a banana would paint on underwear, but it’s really none of my business.
Leave This One in Canada
So the other day, I was strolling down the street just window shopping when lo and behold, I see a couple of Wolverines at the counter of my local Krispy Kreme. Now I thought to myself, I guess superheroes get hungry too. Until I realized there was only one Wolverine at the counter. And it was hungry….
I thought this was a clip of RuPaul’s Drag Race when I first saw it, lol. I’m so silly. I guess Aquaman decided to come out of the ocean at Comic-Con. I do think the gold starfish necklace sets off his eyes, though. And those chiffon fins are to DIE for!! I must get the name of this man’s designer.
A Little Help
I admit I don’t know what this thing is supposed to be. So I’ve decided it’s that Pikachu character from Pokémon. Actually, I’m calling it the Pokémon that ATE Pikachu. And Pikachu’s other Pokémon friends. And Team Rocket. OK, it ate Ash, Misty, and Brock too. Satisfied??
Not gonna say one word about this strapping, young Comic-Con guy’s portrayal of his favorite character “Colossus.” Nope, I’m not even gonna mess with his enormous feet or how badly he needs a tan. But I WILL say this; That perfect, strategically placed object that’s between his legs is more than enough to make me laugh all day long!
Darth, It’s Time to Face The Facts
I know Darth Vader has a hard job. You know, running his mighty empire, managing enough GoFundMe accounts to constantly replace those expensive Death Stars, etc. But Darth, really, you need to eat something. Anything. I swear, the last thing I saw you eat was that hand you chopped off, lol.
Wonder What it Is?
I do love Wonder Woman. Too bad this isn’t her. Don’t you recognize the hairdo?? This is really Wonder Woman’s stunt double. She’s shy, that’s why she’s still wearing a pair of those “Depends” under her Wonder Bottoms. Wouldn’t want a “Paris Hilton” to happen at Comic-Con when she steps out of that limo now, would we?
Don’t I know you? Wait, I do know you. You were at my friend’s wedding. Yep, you were the ring bearer!! I knew it. I never forget a belly button. Or Bath Salt glazed-over eyes. So, you are now a woman huh? Cool. I actually think you look better now as Storm, mutant weather mistress. Superman is only for weddings anyway.
I like to think of this Comic-Con guy as the Flash that slowed down. Way down. In the comics, of course, Flash has to eat a lot of calories in order to be all super speedy. This Flash simply fell into a slump. Or maybe a vat full of doughnut glaze. I’m not sure.
I still remember that first Star Wars movie from the Seventies. Well, I remember Leia. What a beauty, I thought. So graceful, and what a body! As you see above, Leia looks just as great as she did all those years ago. Sure, we all get a little hairy every now and then as we age. But Leia still has that rocking body, and what a rack!!
Puff The Magic Colossus
Steel body, nigh indestructible, super strength. Unfortunately, this cosplay guy doesn’t have any of those qualities. But he could be playing Colossus’ uncle, “Reynold’s Wrap” I guess. One who apparently needs some cheap Spec Savers glasses to fight super-villians and such. No use fighting when you can’t see without squinting, lol.
Everyone knows Deadpool has a Wonder Woman fetish. I for one am so happy he’s let it out. OK, he didn’t let it out exactly. These are pics from his hacked Google Drive account, posted to Comic-Con. It’s true, and I’m not ashamed to post them either. It’s time to show heroes how they really are.
This is a Comic-Con tragedy, nothing more, nothing less. This is Iceman after a couple of doobies in the middle of a heatwave. For medical reasons, of course. Much like Michael Phelps used to do. I just thought you should know what the real Iceman is like when he’s a, well, 7-11 slurpy.
Oh, Hell No
Well, what do we have here? I see the Iron Man animated series’ character has somehow come to life. Still made mostly of paper I see. And that blue repulsor ray coming from his has is mighty intimidating too. And what is this? I didn’t know Pillsbury had a new mascot at Comic-Con. The more you know…
Worst. CosPlay. Ever. This looks like the porno version of “Human Centipede.” Why would anyone do this to themselves? I wouldn’t even try this in private, lol. All this for fifteen minutes of fame? And I bet at least two of them will run for Congress someday. Their parents must be elated.
Sonic and R2-D2
Sonic the Hedgehog never looked more emaciated. Obviously, he’s fallen on hard times and not eating regularly. Still, I see he’s keeping his spirits up with his famous finger stance. Bless him. The same thing can’t be said for poor R2-D2 though. It looks as if he’s still doing the lingerie gig for stag parties just to make ends meet. Luckily he has no genitalia.
Much as I like the show, doing CosPlay out of “The Simpsons” is a bit suicidal. Mr. Burns’ taped-on nose is sad enough, but a stuffed and dirty tube sock strapped to his head? And this offensive Homer? Give any fat guy just one Duff beer and they all look like this, lol.
These CosPlay fails only come down to one question: Which Lara Croft would you rather? Personally, I’d take “Castrated Lara” on the right. I simply love the voice that comes out of a eunuch. Heavenly. Plus it looks like he could do plenty of housework and keep the lawn manageable too. And he probably has no interest in anything else.
Incredible Hungry Hulk
Bruce Banner must be kidding himself if he thinks he’s really the Hulk. Maybe he sometimes just turns green without becoming the Hulk? Well, he certainly doesn’t seem to be frightening anyone. Not even that baby in the stroller is intimidated. This 90 pound Hulk is lucky the birds aren’t taking a poop on him.
Clone Wars Redux
Everyone want to be Leia at Comic-Con. I don’t get it, but I accept it. The costumes are OK, but why so many of them? This reminds me of the newer version of “Battlestar Galactica.” The version where the Cylons don’t die, they’re simply resurrected. And I didn’t want to say anything, but isn’t that Hillary on the left??
Mountain folk, I mean the deep-woods kind, need to have heroes too. Yes, even the inbred. This is what would happen if Superman had landed in the mountains of Virginia. I can imagine him being raised by “Banjo Boy” and the rest of his family from Deliverance. Yep, raised on hog jowls, squirrels, and the occasional Tasmanian Devil and given a sixth-grade education. This one is really super.
Shazam – Shortest Ever
Perhaps his power lies in his incredible height. He’s able to run under any vehicle standing straight up. He’s so powerful he’s able to turn back time (at least when he listens to that Cher song) and space. And don’t forget that wonderful cape. Rumor is he only uses the thing as a security blanket, but I’m not buying it.
Ariel The Monkey Slayer
Ariel, you’re looking so…fit. Yeah, really. Did you change your hairstyle or something? I see you’re still growing that beard so you can donate hair to sick children. Well, I think that’s great. Me? Nothing much. I was heading in to check out 12 Monkeys. I hear it’s pretty good. You too? Cool. Hm? Oh. Umm, no dear. You can’t eat them. It’s not a restaurant. Is that why you’ve got a ginormous fork in your hand?
OK, this guy is killing it with the Ku Klux Klan Grand Wizard CosPlay outfit. He’ll be able to put the fear of the Almighty into…What? He’s not a caucasian? But what about the hood? It’s just a ceramic painter’s pot he got from HomeDepot? Oh. Well, never mind.
It takes a rather brave person to integrate food into their own hair. I can imagine a swarm of honey bees coming for “Leia” right now; her, trying to fight them off with her Nerf water pistol, attempting to run (well, maybe waddle) into the nearest spaceship or cave (or Circle K) for protection.
Master of Magenta
I’m wondering why EVERYONE seated is ignoring this man? Are they frightened that if they make eye contact he’ll ask them for some spare change? “Magneto” here has never looked more appalling than this. And what’s with the Boy Scout knot that he’s using on his Salvation Army Store sheet? And please, a jock strap for a helmet?
I’m just gonna say it and stand my ground: I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the first four words on the sign. I will go no further. So, what’s up with the hot chick? What’s her expression supposed to mean? At first, I thought she might be drugged and needed assistance. Now I suppose she’s sort of hinting that for the right kind of “compensation” she’ll pose with ANYONE at Comic-Con.
Imagine, if you will, your child’s sixth birthday party. You’ve invited all of your kid’s friends, got all the presents and hired the entertainment so you and the other parents can grab a few cocktails while the brats are distracted. You rocked this party and you know it. Then the entertainment shows up: Spiderman’s Great Grandfather. Wrinkly as all hell, can’t even wear a mask because he’s too old to breathe filtered air, and wants cash in advance. The children scream, some even start to vomit when they see his scalp move by itself. You and the rest of the parents just get another cocktail.
Am I the only one who get dizzy looking at this over-stuffed Spiderman costume? I mean, I’m sure the guy wants to play superhero with all of his friends but couldn’t mommy get him something that would fit? This thing looks like the camera is on LSD or something.
Just look at the pitiful expression on the young man below. Would YOU be impressed with this Cosplay attempt? Hell, I’d be suicidal too if all I had to wear to the big Cosplay party was a cardboard box that I probably had to fight a rabid homeless person for.