Christmas is a time to be thankful and spend time with the people we love the most. But sometimes things don’t go the way you plan, and your Christmas ends up being the worst day of the year! Be sure to avoid these Christmas faux pas which are sure to ruin anyone’s holiday spirit.
You Find Bae Kissing Someone under the Mistletoe
You finally perk up the courage to ask your office crush to your friend’s holiday party and things are going great! You’re dancing, you’re flirting, and having a great time. The one time that you end up going to get another drink, the person that you’re in love with is under the mistletoe kissing someone else. Sorry!
You End up Kissing the Wrong Person under the Mistletoe
The best plan that will save you all of this drama is to just stay away from the mistletoe. The other great plan is to just take the mistletoe down. Don’t get too punched up with wine so you find yourself making out with someone random.
Someone Buys Lactose-Free Eggnog
Eggnog is gross to begin with, but if someone tries to make you drink lactose-free eggnog, it’s best to just walk away. You don’t need that type of negativity in your life. If you have to deal with no lactose, just add rum and your taste buds will thank you.
The Dreaded Christmas Sweater Party
The Christmas ugly sweater party is quite the staple when it comes to suburban families. The worst part about this tradition is that no matter what you do to try to make this look “cute,” it just won’t ever happen. You’ll always just end up looking like an oversized five-year-old.
Wearing Reindeer Horns
Why does Christmas have to be so ridiculous all of the time? Not only will you have to wear a giant sweater with Rudolph’s nose on it if you’re invited to an ugly sweater party, but you’ll also have to wear his horns. The next day your mom, grandmas, and your aunt will share all of the evidence of you wearing this crazy outfit on Facebook. Be sure to untag those beauties!
Having To Watch Your Cousin’s Dance “Performance”
If you have younger cousins or siblings, you’ll know that after every holiday meal, one of your aunts or relatives will try to show off their children’s amazing skills and talents. Worst case scenario: you will be forced to watch a very awkward rendition of Nicki Minaj’s “Anaconda,” performed by a twelve-year-old.
Awkward Performances That Are WAY Too Adult
Have any pre-teen or teenaged relatives? They’ll probably want to dance to “adult” music with swear words and phrases that will make the moment even more awkward. Especially because they probably won’t even know what all the songs mean. Just accept it, because you’re not going to want to explain in any conversation with your random family member what “Hotline Bling” is about.
The Christmas Tree Lights on Fire
Don’t use candles. Even though they look amazing, candles will have seriously bad consequences especially if you have dogs or small children. The worst case scenario is that your entire Christmas tree will light on fire. The best case scenario is that you will get wax all over your floor, which will never EVER come off.
Don’t Use Popcorn Either
Popcorn is not something that you should be putting on your Christmas tree. Anything edible is bound to either rot or fall off and make a mess. Stick to the basics when it comes to decorating a Christmas tree! Simplicity goes a long way when you’re trying to make your home festive.
Someone Poisons the Mulled Wine
Alcohol is great, but hot alcohol is even better. Mulled wine is also fantastic because it really just tastes like hot apple cider, with no taste of acidity. The worst thing that could ever happen is if someone took it upon themselves to pour some arsenic in the punch bowl.
It’s a Sober Affair
This is the worst thing that could ever happen at a family function. If the party is completely dry and you didn’t know in advance, you’re going to have to find another family alcoholic who may have stored some booze in an empty water bottle. Even if you’re over 21, at a sober family gathering, you’re back to stealing the cooking sherry.
Santa Gets a Little Too Excited
If you’re mom and dad force you to sit on Santa’s lap, you’re going to have to fake the biggest smile to make them happy, but also to ease how uncomfortable you are. The only thing worse is if you can feel Santa getting a little too excited underneath you. If that happens, simply run away.
You Drunkenly Fall in Love with Santa
Picture it. You drink about two gallons of mulled wine and end up with beer goggles that force you to believe that the guy playing Santa Claus is the love of your life. You’re going to have to fight the urges because it might turn out that the guy playing Santa is actually your second cousin.
Mommy Is Kissing Santa Claus, Who Isn’t Your Dad
You walk down the stairs to go get a glass of water and you see your mom kissing a guy dressed up like Santa Claus. This is just what you imagined as a kid, except you notice that your dad is still upstairs. Mommy is kissing Santa Claus, and now your childhood is ruined.
Dad Is Also Kissing Santa Claus
This one is almost like the previous situation but will take you even more by surprise. You notice that your mom and dad sleep in different rooms now, and you walk downstairs and BANG. This image will forever leave an imprint on how you view Christmas for the rest of your life.
The Ex Is Friends with Your Grandma
If you’re still friends with your ex, then this isn’t too much of a problem. But if your grandma is still friends with your ex, there might be some awkward table conversation during dinner. Simply ignore every time that your grandma asks your ex, “but isn’t she pretty?”
Your Ex Brings His New Love
The only thing that can worse than seeing your ex at your own family party is if they bring their new partner. Not only is it uncomfortable to see someone that you used to be in love with, but also the person that they replaced you for. This is a definite holiday downer!
There Aren’t Any Mashed Potatoes
This is the worst thing that could ever happen during a holiday dinner. Mashed potatoes are the glue that holds a holiday dinner together and proves that Christmas dinner relies solely on this vegetable. If there aren’t any mashed potatoes at dinner, then dinner is not worth having.
There Also Aren’t Any Desserts
Drowning your holiday sorrows with alcohol is great, but it should always involve dessert as well. A dinner without dessert is not complete and will leave you longing for something sweet. If you have to, sneak out in the middle of the night and go find discounted pie from the grocery store.
You Never Get To Hear Mariah Carey
Christmas music is awful. It’s only fun for about two seconds and then becomes extremely repetitive. The only good Christmas song is Mariah Carey’s “All I Want For Christmas Is You.” If you don’t get to hear this catchy diddy, then you’re whole Christmas is ruined.
Listening Only To Josh Groban
Josh Groban Christmas music is monotone and sounds like horror music. The worst thing that could ever happen during the holidays is if you’re forced to only listen to Josh Groban music with your grandparents on a five-hour drive to your aunt’s house.
Tinsel. Is. Everywhere.
Tinsel looks nice on a tree and makes everything sparkly. The only problem with these plastic shards is that they get everywhere and you will never find them no matter how hard you look. They’ll also end up in your hair and in your mouth.
Inhaling Tinsel Is a Bad Idea
Getting tinsel in your mouth or inhaling it is one of the worst things that could ever happen. Tinsel is made of unknown material and will definitely give you a respiratory infection if you get too close to snorting it. It’s best to just stay clear from tinsel or any decorations that come from the dollar store.
Your Creepy Uncle’s Hugs
In every family, there’s always that creepy uncle that will hold you too long and too close during your inevitable hug. Don’t even try to pull away, because a hug with a creepy uncle is going to last for over two minutes. Just accept it and accept the awkwardness.
You Might Be the Creepy One
If you happen to notice that there aren’t any creepy relatives or people that make you cringe at your holiday function, then the creepy person is probably you. The only advice we can give you is to keep the hugs under thirty seconds.
Secret Santa At Work Ends Up Being Your Secret Crush
If you were trying to tell your crush at work that you love them, don’t do it during Secret Santa. Your attempt at the Jim/Pam secret Santa is just going to turn into you giving your crush an awkward $15 box of candy that will give them an allergic reaction.
You Get Fired
The worst thing that could ever happen during the holiday season is getting fired. Getting fired means that you won’t be able to tell your nosey relatives about your “career” and that you won’t be able to treat yourself with a post-holiday shopping spree.
The Christmas Tree Falls
This year you’ve put way too many ornaments, candles, popcorn, and the dreaded tinsle on the tree. It’s looking all beautiful and right before you take an enviable Instagram picture, it topples over and lights your entire house ablaze. Christmas canceled.
The Tree Falls on You
What’s worse than having the Christmas tree you spent ten hours decorating falling over and lighting on fire? Having the Christmas tree you spent ten hours decorating fall over onto you while you try to Instagram. The impact of the tree hits you hard and you have to open presents up on Christmas morning in a full body cast.
The Dog Eats the One Item You Were Going To Eat for Dinner
If you’re a vegetarian, Christmas meals are literally the worst. Everyone is constantly judging you for not eating meat and your relatives are particularly interested in, “why would you ever do that!” The only thing worse than all of those questions is if the dog eats all of your tofu and you have to eat just a bag of boiled carrots.
“Just Pick Out What You Don’t Like”
If you’re a picky eater then you know that eating anything at family functions is the worst. You like everything to be plain and nothing to be spicy. Your mom’s excuse for you is always to say, “Just pick out what you don’t like.” You can’t pick everything out, Mom!
Your Favorite Ornament Is Currently in Your Cousin’s Nose
Decorating the tree should be fun, but somehow it always ends up with ornaments in places they shouldn’t be. This time it’s your cousin whose decided to put your favorite ornament up his nose and pretend to be a walrus. Not only does he not look like a walrus, but your mom has to take him to the hospital.
Your Childhood Bedroom Is an Attraction
All of your little cousins want to explore your old room, and your mom will show it off saying, “Look at her little room!” Even though you’re older, you still don’t want people looking in your room. It’s embarrassing just seeing pictures of yourself in middle school on your old walls.
The Lights Get All Tangled Up
Christmas lights are confusing and obnoxious, not to mention they’re usually broken. Christmas lights are just an electrouciton disaster waiting to happen. The worst thing about Christmas lights is that they get tangled up so you can’t even use them before they explode.
You Get Tangled up in the Lights
As you’re putting up the Christmas lights, be sure to be careful that they don’t wrap and tangle around your body. Wrapping your body in Christmas lights and getting all caught up will ruin your Christmas and bum you out. It also might light you on fire, which could bring down your jolly attitude.
You Give a Drunken Performance
Getting too drunk at a holiday party is not only embarrassing for yourself, but it also will embarrass your entire family. Your mom will never let you live down the night that you drank an entire punch bowl of mulled wine and sang out the entire discography of Journey.
You Parents Give a Drunken Performance
Watching adults get drunk is hilarious, but watching your parents get drunk is just awkward. Even if they sound slightly okay, this isn’t a vision that you’ll ever be able to forget for a while. It’s even worse if your parents opt to sing a duet from the ’60s.
Someone Gets Political and Your Feminism Is Unwanted
Holiday parties are not a place for relatives to talk about politics, but it always seems to happen. One of your conservative relatives is bound to bring up Trump, and all of your feminist ideals and modernist views are scoffed at. If you drink more, this conversation will hurt less.
Someone Brings up Monica Lewinsky
Every single time someone brings up Monica Lewinsky or the fact that Hilary isn’t qualified, it’s best to just take a shot. The best rule to live by when it comes to having fun at parties is to never talk about sports, politics, or religion. Even at Christmas.
You’re Better off Just Drinking
Christmas as an adult is problematic and is made up of awkward yet unavoidable moments. The best things to do in these types of family events is to just drink away your problems. The more you drink festive alcoholic drinks, the more you’ll be jolly like Santa Claus.