People That Can’t Hang At Parties

Partying has been around since the dawn of man. What once started as singing and dancing around a fire has now devolved into full-blown debauchery. For most people, a night of partying consists of having a few drinks, hanging out with friends, and maybe making a few questionable decisions. For others, it’s all or nothing. Here’s a list of people that haven’t figured out the whole partying thing yet.

THAT Guy

THAT Guy

Play Edward 40 oz hands they said, it would be fun they said. I’m sure that’s exactly what this man said to himself moments before he fell into this booze-induced sleep. Although he seems old enough to be putting diapers on his own children, looks like he should have put one on himself before he left the house.

Little Help Here?

Little Help Here?

Amidst all of the partying and chaos, it looks like this poor unfortunate soul woke up from his premature mid-party nap. Everyone knows that if you fall asleep during the party, it’s everyone’s duty to mess with you. If that means duct taping a broom handle to you, so be it. Party on.

The McGuiver Of Sleeping

The McGuiver Of Sleeping

There’s no denying that this man has a gift. Some of us are cursed with the inability to sleep anywhere without our down comforter and Tempurpedic mattress, but not this dude. Let him drink a case of beer to himself, get him a toilet, throw in a few pillows, and he’s fine. Hopefully, he wiped the puke off the seat before he climbed onto it.

Anybody Got A Light?

Anybody Got A Light?

Ah, another early sleeper. By the looks of it, this guy didn’t get it too bad by his friends. Some tape on the face and drawings on the stomach is some amateur stuff. Even including the lit belly button cigarette, the most astounding thing about this photo is the farmer and wristband tan lines.

If I Do A Trick Can I Have Your Number?

If I Do A Trick Can I Have Your Number?

If you’ve seen this bar trick done before, you know that it’s supposed to be done with cups and not bottles for obvious reasons. Judging from the smiles peeking through the gaps of the bottles, these girls were not impressed and this poor soul reeked of Michelob Ultra for the rest of the night.

Girls Night!

Girls Night!

If you didn’t take any pictures did you really go out? Apparently not. Well, this girl looked like she had a real firey night out with the girls. If her friend wasn’t glued to her phone then maybe this accident could have been avoided. I guess the real question about this picture is who puts tea candles as the centerpiece for a table?

Oh No Man, Oh No

Oh No Man, Oh No

Is the guy in the back so inebriated that he thinks the guy with the mullet is a girl or is he so drunk that he doesn’t care? Either way, there is so much wrong with this picture that the whole thing makes me uncomfortable. All I know is that the guy in the back needs and is going to need an IV to shake that hangover.

That’s Dedication

That’s Dedication

I can’t tell what’s more impressive. The fact that this guy managed to sleep through this entire body transformation, or the dedication it took his friends to get the job done. That must have taken numerous different sharpies to complete this work of art, and it’s going to take a lot of time for him to get it all off.

Just Leave Me Here

Just Leave Me Here

It’s not necessarily unusual to get a little queasy or fall asleep on the car ride home from a night of drinking, but this girl took it to another level. Nothing quite like face-planting onto the dirty city street until one of your friends has to come peel you off the sidewalk and take you to bed.

The Balancing Act

The Balancing Act

This is just downright dangerous. I mean, that person strapped to the beam high above the ground is clearly asleep, and something tells me he didn’t willingly agree to it. Did they secure him for his own safety after he passed out drunk up there like some kind of cat? I hope so.

I Love This DJ

I Love This DJ

You’ve heard it before, but I’ll tell you again. Don’t do drugs kids. That is unless you want to look like this pale, malnourished rave fanatic, or if you’re into wearing three-headed panda face masks. The choice is yours, really. But to be honest, neither of them look like they’re having fun, more that they both just need water.

Yea Man, The Festival Was Awesome

Yea Man, The Festival Was Awesome

it looks like the music festival got the best of this guy. After all of the effort of putting up the tent, this is what it came down to. So close, yet so far. Chances are he’ll end up using the entire tent as a blanket before he actually manages to crawl inside of it to seek shelter from the elements.

Take A Pic Of Me!

Take A Pic Of Me!

Chances are somebody’s parents went out of town, so obviously, it was time to throw a party. The parents maybe even let their kid have friends over with the one rule that they don’t stain the carpet. Well, that went out the window once the alcohol started flowing and grape soda was used as a chaser.

We Made It, Boys!

We Made It, Boys!

What we have here is a classic situation when these boys finally accomplished their lifetime goal of getting a girl to attend one of their parties. The spirits are high, the beer is flowing, and somebody is about to ruin it all by spilling beer on her head.

Yea Bro, I Party

Yea Bro, I Party

What’s better than drinking a beer? An apparatus that makes it so you can drink a beer as fast as possible. Want to know what’s better than that? Actually knowing how to use it. Somebody clearly didn’t pass high school physics.

Didn’t Get The Message

Didn’t Get The Message

These gals were probably just having a night out on the town with one motto: No boys allowed. Apparently, this guy didn’t get the picture and kept drunkenly annoying them until push came to shove. He attempted one last photobomb and one of them had to act.

Prost!

Prost!

Nothing says a good time quite like spilled beers, broken steins, and bloody hands! There must have been some serious force behind that cheers because that is an explosion of beers. Come on now, think of all the sober people out there before you keep wasting beer like that!

Ballin!

Ballin!

Nothing screams that you are a true baller like bottle service. $700 for a $75 bottle at the closest Rite Aid, it’s a no-brainer. Clearly, the bottle service got the best of this guy as he completely misses his cup and spills around $75 worth of alcohol on the ground. The face says it all.

Cutting Up The Rug

Cutting Up The Rug

These days, filters and Photoshop are essentially magical tools used by people to make themselves look as good as possible. Unfortunately, for these girls, nothing can touch up this scene. Hopefully, they took pictures other than this, and maybe next take it easy on the vodka Redbulls.

The Party Never Stops

The Party Never Stops

This picture is a testament that you are never too old to crack a cold one and get a little loose. However, it is also a testament that there will always be a few people in the room that just isn’t quite cut out for partying as others. That’s someone’s grandma!