Not A Chance: These Hollywood Marriages Were Doomed From the Start

Hollywood isn’t exactly known for “until death do us part.” For some popular A-listers, the phrase takes on an even more ironic meaning.

These short, star-studded unions kept us on our toes – from the 72-day marriage sparking gossip around the world to scandalous infidelity to marriages we forgot even happened. Can you guess which star cheated on his wife just days before their wedding? And you won’t believe which celebs are on our list twice, or which were married for less than two weeks!

So sit back, relax, grab a bowl of popcorn, and read on as we count down the most salacious and short-lived Hollywood marriages to date.

Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson – 2 Years

Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson – 2 Years

Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds were only married for two years (from 2008 – 2010), and have each since re-married. Reynolds wed Blake Lively in 2012 and Johansson tied the knot with French ad executive Romain Dauriac in 2014. It seems this A-list marriage was doomed from the start. In a recent interview with Cosmopolitan magazine, Johansson described her marriage with Reynolds as “competitive.” That said, Ryan and ScarJo’s union seems like an eternity compared to others on this list.

Britney Spears and Kevin Federline – 2 years

Britney Spears and Kevin Federline – 2 years

Oops, she did it again! Britney’s short-lived marriage to backup dancer and hot mess, Kevin Federline (or KFed), was entertainment gold. How could we forget the pair’s 2004 reality TV series “Britney & Kevin: Chaotic”? Or the fact that Brit went bonkers after the split? Ah, the memories! But Britney’s not the only superstar to fall for her backup dancer. Britney probably has dancing shoes that lasted longer than the next marriage on our list.

Jennifer Lopez and Cris Judd – 13 months

Jennifer Lopez and Cris Judd – 13 months

After splitting with Sean “P. Diddy” Combs, future cougar Jennifer Lopez snagged this background dancer in 2001. At first, this celeb relationship seemed hot and spicy, but it fizzled after just 13 months. Unfortunately, it appears that dancing skills aren’t enough to sustain a marriage. Despite all of JLo’s highly publicized relationship troubles, we’re pulling for her to find lasting love.

Jim Carrey and Lauren Holly – 10 months

Jim Carrey and Lauren Holly – 10 months

This relationship was infamous from the jump. Jim Carrey was married to his first wife when he met Lauren Holly on the set of the film Dumb and Dumber. Tabloids had a field day with this affair, often calling the actress a “homewrecker.” The marriage only lasted 10 months. There is a very important lesson to be learned here: never marry your side-piece.

If you think this marriage was salacious, wait until you see the next one on the list.

Mike Tyson and Robin Givens – 9 months

Mike Tyson and Robin Givens – 9 months

A prize-winning boxer and a Hollywood actress would seem to make the perfect pairing, but that wasn’t the case for these two. Mike Tyson and Robin Givens were only married for nine months when she claimed that Tyson abused her after she miscarried their child. Their nasty divorce was highly publicized, and in the end, Givens was awarded a heavyweight settlement: a cool $10 million.

Fred Armisen and Elisabeth Moss – 8 months

Fred Armisen and Elisabeth Moss – 8 months

The eight-month long marriage between these small-screen stars was definitely NOT a match made in TV heaven. How can we say this lightly? …Fred Armisen is rumored to be a huge jerk. In fact, Elisabeth described the marriage as “extremely traumatic and awful and horrible.” Fred seemed to confirm her remarks when he told Howard Stern that he was “a terrible husband.”

If you think this was a mismatch, the next marriage on our list had us all scratching our heads.

Renée Zellweger and Kenny Chesney – 5 months

Renée Zellweger and Kenny Chesney – 5 months

We almost forgot that actress Renée Zellweger was once married to country singer Kenny Chesney. Despite a romantic, barefoot beach wedding in St. John in 2005, this odd couple didn’t last long. Zellweger and Chesney headed for splitsville after a brief five months. When Zellweger cited ‘fraud’ as the cause of the split, many speculated that Chesney was gay. But in 2009, the crooner heartily denied those claims when he told Access Hollywood that he’d slept with over 100 women. Um…good for him?

Sophia Bush and Chad Michael Murray – 5 months

Sophia Bush and Chad Michael Murray – 5 months

When “One Tree Hill” co-stars Sophia Bush and Chad Michael Murray turned their on-screen romance into a reality, millions of fans swooned across the country. But this marriage only lasted a short five months in 2005. The rumor is that Murray cheated on Bush with socialite Paris Hilton. Since the split Bush has said, “It devastates me now that I have been reduced to a Hollywood statistic – another joke marriage. I never expected to be married more than once…because I knew what I was getting into and will always believe in love.”

Ashley Hamilton and Shannen Doherty – 5 months

Ashley Hamilton and Shannen Doherty – 5 months

When notorious bad girl Shannen Doherty tied the knot with Ashley Hamilton (son of Hollywood star George Hamilton) in 1993, it seemed like a 90210-worthy romance. But this marriage lasted a mere five minutes. Oops. We mean five months. It’s no surprise that the honeymoon was over so quickly: Shannen was 22 and Ashley, just 19.

Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Esposito – 4 months

Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Esposito – 4 months

Before Bradley Cooper was one of Hollywood’s biggest A-Listers, he was married to actress Jennifer Esposito in 2006. The marriage only lasted four months because, as Esposito writes in her book Jennifer’s Way, Cooper was “manipulative and cold.” Ouch! Since then, Cooper has gone on to have relationships with a long list of starlets and models.

The next couple on our list were known for their zany sense of humor but not all was happy-go-lucky when they split just months later…

Drew Barrymore and Tom Green – 4 months

Drew Barrymore and Tom Green – 4 months

A-lister Drew Barrymore and Canadian funnyman Tom Green played lovers on-screen in Charlie’s Angels and off-screen IRL. The two reportedly haven’t spoken since the split. Barrymore later remarried and gave birth to two children, but filed for divorce from husband Will Kopelman in July 2016.

The next wild couple on our list seemed strangely perfect for each other. That is, just until their nasty divorce months later.

Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock – 4 months

Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock – 4 months

Model Pamela Anderson and bad boy Kid Rock’s nuptials were just like every other traditional high-class Hollywood wedding. The stars wed in bathing suits aboard a St. Tropez yacht. Classy, indeed. In 2006, this marriage seemed like a time warp — Anderson and Kid Rock dated for 2 years from 2001 – 2003. But despite their on-again-off-again relationship history, the couple divorced just four months later. Kid Rock later told Rolling Stone that Anderson was a “fame whore” and that their marriage was a “bad career move.”

Nicolas Cage and Lisa Marie Presley – 3.5 months

Nicolas Cage and Lisa Marie Presley – 3.5 months

Lisa Marie Presley’s marriage to actor Nicolas Cage was her third, so the world was hoping that this one would last. Unfortunately, this couple headed to divorce court after being married only 108 days. Nick later said in an interview with Barbara Walters that the marriage failed because both parties were extremely stubborn. Their divorce proceeding lasted longer than the marriage.

The same is true for the next infamous couple on our list…

Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries – 72 days

Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries – 72 days

Remember when Kim Kardashian decided she needed to make more headlines, so she married and quickly divorced Kris Humphries? The couple’s divorce after 72 days sent shock waves around the globe.

Kim married Humphries in a lavish TV ceremony (shocker) but changed her mind not long after the honeymoon. Unfortunately, undoing this union wasn’t as easily as deleting a Tweet. Her divorce to Humphries took a couple of years to finalize. Today, Kim is happily married to rapper and crazy person Kanye West, and the couple have two healthy children, Saint and North West.

Thought it was impossible for marriages to be this short-lived? Then just wait until you see the next couples on our list!

Chad Ochocinco and Evelyn Lozada – 41 days

Chad Ochocinco and Evelyn Lozada – 41 days

Chad Ochocinco is best known for adopting a grammatically-incorrect Spanish last name to match the number on the back of his football jersey. That said, many fans probably don’t realize that the Wide Receiver was briefly married to reality TV star Evelyn Lozada in 2012. Unfortunately, the couple split after a mere 41 days when Ochocinco physically assaulted his wife. He seems like a great guy.

Drew Barrymore and Jeremy Thomas – 1 month

Drew Barrymore and Jeremy Thomas – 1 month

If you thought Drew Barrymore’s 2001 marriage to Tom Green was her shortest, think again. In 1994, the 19-year old actress married Welsh bartender Jeremy Thomas at 5AM in a pub. Romantic! The stuff of every little girls’ dreams… That’s why we’re so surprised that the two split after just one month. According to rumor, the divorce was NOT amicable.

Break out the Doritos and read on because the next divorce on our list is spicy!

Mario Lopez and Ali Landry – 2 weeks

Mario Lopez and Ali Landry – 2 weeks

Doritos girl Ali Landry and “actor” slash TV show host Mario Lopez dated for six years before tying the knot in 2002. But Lopez’ womanizing ways ended the marriage just two weeks later. The cause for the split? Landry discovered that Lopez cheated on her days before the ceremony at his bachelor party!

If you thought this was short, the next marriages on our list are even shorter….

Cher and Gregg Allman – 9 days

Cher and Gregg Allman – 9 days

If asked to recall one of Cher’s famous husbands, you’d probably say Sonny Bono, right? Well, Cher also married musician Gregg Allman, of the famous Allman Brothers. In fact, she married him just four days after finalizing her divorce from Bono in 1975. Nine days after that, Cher filed for divorce from Allman, citing his rampant heroin and alcohol abuse. The couple eventually reconciled and had a child, but the marriage ended two years later.

The next actress on our list blames tragedy for her poor choice of husband.

Dennis Rodman and Carmen Electra – 9 days

New Laker Dennis Rodman celebrates his first winning game out on the town at GOODBAR with wife Carmen Electra

Decades before he strangely became bros with North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Un, NBA player Dennis Rodman was wed to “Baywatch” hottie Carmen Electra. Electra met Rodman shortly after her mother passed away from brain cancer. To ease the pain of the tragedy, Electra made the always-wise decision to marry a crazy person nine months after meeting him.

The couple exchanged vows in a Las Vegas wedding chapel and divorced just nine days later. In 2014, Electra told Oprah about the relationship with Rodman, “Our relationship was very passionate. When it was good, it was amazing and when it was bad, it was the worst.”

Britney and Jason Alexander – 55 Hours

Britney and Jason Alexander – 55 Hours

Who other than Brit Brit would have a marriage lasting less than three days?

Britney Spears and Jason Alexander were friends from back in Louisiana. So when she was “Not Yet a Girl, Not Yet a Woman,” she flew him out to Las Vegas in her private jet, got drunk and then married him. …Because that’s what friends do?

It wasn’t Britney’s smartest decision because she didn’t have a prenup. After the wedding, poor Jason claimed that he was still in love with the singer.